Pregnancy and RA

So I thought I'd do a quick post about RA and pregnancy, as this blog originally started out to be more about RA. I know there are a couple readers who have RA too, and the more positive info one can find out there the better!

I've been on Enbrel and Plaquenil for a few years. Enbrel is like magic. Although I have some residual wrist damage from pre-Enbrel days (I probably have a 40-degree range of motion or so, they just don't bend beyond that!), except for an occasional (every 6 months or more) flare, I feel great. The Plaquenil (strangely, an anti-malarial) was added a year ago after a flare that involved one ankle. My rheumatologist cleared me to stay on both the medications. He had me go off the small dose of prednisone (which I had though was the safest of all the meds) due to a minor, possible connection between higher doses of that and cleft lips/palates in the fetus. I also registered with a group in California that is studying the effects of lots of drugs on pregnancy, OTIS, in my case joining the one that studies Enbrel's effects: www.raandpregnancy.org. Basically they call me up every couple months and I answer some questions, then within a year of the kid's birth, they send a pediatrician out to take non-invasive measurements of the head, abdomen, etc. They're always very willing to answer questions about what they've found, which so far has been positive...as in, there's no found risk to the fetus. RA will often improve in pregnancy, but since I was pretty "improved" going in, had I gone off the medications I surely would have had a decline. And with flares common 1-3 months after giving birth, I really didn't want to be stuck in a situation where I couldn't walk, couldn't pick the kid up, change a diaper, etc. So it made sense to me to stay on the meds, and from the looks of things the kid is completely unaffected. I'm sure it's always a tough decision to weigh the pros and cons of being on medication during pregnancy, but in my case the risk was minimal to non-existent, and the benefits literally life-changing.

Anyone with RA reading this, feel free to ask questions!!

I'm going to do a kid update in a new post...

All clear

At school this week some girls I had in class 2 and 3 years ago saw me in the hall and in the way only teenage girls can, squealed "Oh my god, you're pregnant!" It's actually been kind of funny, often kids I've had in the past (I teach all freshmen) will see me in the hall, and although some still say hi, most pretend not to know who I am (even the ones who genuinely liked me when I was their teacher!). Lately, a lot more are "remembering" me and even starting conversations, usually about my being pregnant. Nice as that is, now the trouble is I have to try to remember their names...

Went to the doctor today, everything is still the same, had an ultrasound and the kid is estimated to be int he 67th % at weighing around 5.5 pounds. That's a little weird...I mean, that's like...baby sized or something. I also got a read on her position, so when I sit here watching my entire belly move, I can with more certainly distinguish the butt from the feet, from the hands (which are the things that are tickling my right hip bone...weird!).

And the doctor seems satisfied that we're out of the woods. "I'm not an alarmist," he said. And, "You can relax now...just don't go crazy." I was thinking, "No, YOU can relax, I've been relaxed!" So, since I had my stuff in the car just in case, I went right to the gym. I'd done 3 miles on the elliptical Tuesday and lifted a little. Today I did 2 miles on the elliptical (under a 9:30 pace, though I don't know if that's really at all comparable to the treadmill...felt way easier) and then 1 mile on the treadmill. I ran .25 miles, twice. Running still feels normal and good. Still, I didn't want to push it. But I did want to know that I could still do it. I suspect that I will start re-incorporating a little bit, in short increments (oooh, maybe I'll run a whole mile again before giving birth!), as long as it still feels fine. I guess I am/was a little worried, but...well, a couple more weeks and there'll be no reason not to do as much as I want. Except the closer it gets (6 weeks and 2 days til due date!), the more I'm thinking I'm in no hurry...

33 Week Belly, and Musings About the Belly Button

A 14-week picture, for comparison.

As I'm typing, the kid is doing a jig inside my uterus. I think I can tell the difference between her butt and her legs but that's about it. When I put my hand on my belly I can sometimes tell for SURE that it's limbs moving around...they just feel long, narrow, and strong!! But usually I feel kind of disoriented, and I wish I knew what she was up to in there.

So I have this aversion to belly buttons. They gross me out. I dread having mine turn into an outie. So far so good, though it's definitely become flatter and more stretched out. I hope I can deal with the whole umbilical-cord-falling-off thing.

Did 2 miles (24 minutes) on the elliptical today, and then some squats and other things for my legs. All in all, an hour or so of working out. So I think I'm back to a routine I'm comfortable with, that even makes me sweat a little, and I should be sore tomorrow as an added bonus!

And I'm back to just expecting her to come around her due date, because if I get my hopes up that she's a little early (like Thanksgiving...which is in 4 weeks!), I'm bound to still be pregnant in January. (And if the kid is like me, she'll want to stick it to the doctor and prove that he was wrong and we knew what was going on the whole time. Uh-oh, I could be in for trouble with this one...)

I Graduated...

...to once a week appointments! Nothing's changed (meaning cervix is the same, about 65-70% effaced but not dilated, and the contractions continue as before) so the doctor is less worried. I think my own lack of worry helped him realize that this is just how my body does pregnancy! I'll get an ultrasound next Thursday to check her size. I asked if her head was "engaged," and he said yup. I keep hearing all these terms but don't really know what they mean! Effaced, engaged...well, there are more, I guess I'm learning on a need-to-know basis.

I got to the gym 3 times so far this week. Monday I went for a yoga class. Turned out the regular teacher was not there. I walked in (the class had started a few minutes early), saw who the sub was, and walked right back out. This woman subbed once for a spinning class (she also happens to be a teacher at my school) and it was miserable. She's not exactly athletic, and she basically spent the whole class telling us that we were on a beach and we should relax, blah blah blah. Not exactly what you want to think about when spinning! Anyway, I realized I did not have normal gym shoes, so my options were to take the class or go home. So I went back in. She was annoying, but I got some good stretching in and was even sore the next day. Tuesday I went and lifted, a little of everything, and more or less my normal weights. Felt great. Today I went to the pool and ran for 35 minutes. Just trying to maintain at this point, routine as well as fitness! Very important, as Fred came home with some Halloween candy last night (kind of at my urging!). I felt bad that I hadn't given him the true pregnant-husband experience...no midnight trips to the store for ice cream, no hormonal crying fits (well, just one!)...basically, we've both had it pretty easy! At any rate, I've eaten more mini-Reese's peanut butter cups today than I can count. But hey, the doctor did tell me to "just eat more peanut butter or ice cream!" THOSE orders I'll follow...

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda...

Today Fred and Jen ran the Pumpkin Chase 5k that I ran last year. I had fun getting around the (short!) course trying to get pictures. It was fun! At the end when the results were posted and they awarded prizes, I realized that my time last year (which put me 3rd in my age group...yeah, small race) would've been good enough for 1st in the age group this year. Sigh...But, Jen grabbed 2nd in the same age group, so go Jen! Fred finished well also, faster than his previous 5k in February. I am SO READY to start my comeback...the 3 mile Bunny Boogie on April 11 (I think). I want to beat last year's pace (7:34, for a 3 mile course) by 45 seconds. I am going to actually TRAIN for this distance. I've never trained for a short race before, just run them kind of as an aside to training for longer distances. So I'll get to the track and do repeats, real speed work. I did some of that on the treadmill last year, but I think I need to get outside this time.

I stopped worrying about not really being able to work out for the next few weeks. I mean, I've taken 2 weeks off before when we've gone on vacation, and never really noticed a change when I got back (other than mental!). Obviously I expect to be starting from scratch anyway in some ways (although Heather didn't seem to miss a step after having her baby!), so what's the difference? I've done NOTHING since Tuesday. I plan to go to yoga tomorrow to stretch things out, especially my back. Just waiting for one more exam Monday to be normal with no changes, and I'll feel better. I hit 32 weeks today, so probably 2 more and then I'll feel comfortable stepping it up again (meaning, walking or elliptical or maybe the core class again) assuming nothing has changed by then.

Oh yeah, and by the way, the reason I don't look so pregnant is just because I wear baggy clothes now. Although we did go to a birthday party last night for a friend who's 16 weeks with twins (she does look more pregnant than I do), and I decided just to go for it an look pregnant. Although strangely, I did that without wearing maternity clothes, just jeans (with the bella band) and a sheer flowy top I love that's kind of tight in the boob area but then just goes out.

Anyone have a 5k training plan they really like?? I know there are a million online, but...

"Baby needs a donut?"

I've mentioned my liking for blueberry donuts (not a pregnancy craving...just something I'm being much more liberal with lately). So on the way home today, I stopped at the donut shop. I ordered 2, but one was honestly for my husband who was home early. Anyway, the lady (who I think must recognize me by this point) asked, "Baby needs a donut?" This was funny, but also significant since it's the first time a stranger has commented on the belly. So that makes me officially pregnant. She asked if it was a boy or a girl, and how many months I was. And when I said seven, her eyes got wide and she said, "Baby REALLY needs a donut!" It was funny. Here's the picture I took as soon as I got home to document (and also to send to my mom, who lives in Michigan, who requested that today).

In other news, I was deciding whether or not to go to the gym, and if I WAS going I was NOT getting the donut. If I was NOT going, I WOULD get it. How backwards it that? Another runner friend who has 2 kids told me today she was put on modified bed rest with her first. She'd given up running by then just because it was uncomfortable, but she interpreted modified bed rest to mean swimming and yoga were just fine. She was induced (with both) a week after the due date. So, I do believe I'm in no danger, but I am also being cautious just in case, for another 2 weeks probably. Which won't mean doing nothing, but it will mean not doing something every day. Which is OK, as I'm finding tons of things to do around the house, as it turns out.

31 weeks, 5 days:

Getting the finger

There's no other way to put it, sorry. Back the the doctor (yes, he's doing internal checks every time...sigh...), everything is the same. Which means cervix is closed, but I'm still having contractions. So he did another FFN test (the pre-term labor one), results tomorrow. He told me to keep taking it easy. I told him I still feel normal. He said come back on Monday. So it goes...meantime I love watching my belly move. The kid moves nonstop! He estimated her at 3.5 pounds based on the 28 weeks ultrasound when she was in the 80th percentile. I thought it would be higher, but then he said she could go up to 5 in the next 2 weeks. He'll do an ultrasound Monday. My weight has been strangley consistent. I've gained about 14 pounds, only a pound in the last 4 weeks. I still expect to hit 20-25, and what with being "benched" for a few weeks (plus my affinity for blueberry donuts) that shouldn't be too tough.

I keep going back and forth about when I want the kid to show up (not that I have a say in it). Obviously 37 weeks (Thanksgiving weekend) would be the ideal minimum, and it would be nice to not be pregnant all the way to 40 weeks. But keeping her in for the extra 2-3 weeks has benefits too...free day care, it won't mess up my plan for maternity leave and for my mom to come out to be the other free day care for a month or two, I won't feel like I'm abandoning my students (not that they care, but it would mess up my lesson plans), and I won't have to start and end maternity leave early (somehow going back before March 1, even if I start earlier, just seems like a raw deal to me for no logical reason).

Back to normal

Yesterday I went to the gym. I hadn't had contractions most of the day. I had gone to the doctor's in the morning to be monitored, there was very little activity there (but the kid is still a bruiser), my cervix was still closed, no changes. So that even made the doctor a little more relaxed. I think just that made me feel normal again...maybe I had been more worried than I thought. At any rate, I'm back to feeling NORMAL and often even forgetting I'm pregnant. So I went to the gym. I just did a little lifting for my arms and shoulders, then decided to do 10 minutes on the elliptical. I normally hate the elliptical. But, given that it was just an easy workout, it wasn't so bad. Then I stretched, hoping to ease some of the mid-back discomfort I'm having (not pregnancy related I don't think, something I get occasionally). I'm going today for some swimming/water jogging. It just feels good to move, and I think normalcy is HUGE. I hope the kid comes a little early, like right after Thanksgiving (37 weeks), but I honestly don't think she's going to come TOO early.

Although, just to put it out there, 2 weeks ago I did have a dream that she was born on "the 17th" (not sure what month!) and was small but the labor was super easy. Luckily October 17 has passed, but come November 17 I may be a little nervous. She'll be 35 weeks at that point...too early, but not TOO early if it happened.

At any rate, we spent the weekend getting the upstairs ready after having had it all painted. Fred set up his office, I moved out of "my" room and turned it into the kid's room, complete with crib and dresser (full of hand-me-down clothes from little cousin Iris). Not quite done, but pretty close!

All good.

Thanks to everyone who commented, and so quickly! It was nice to have some affirmation that I probably can trust my intuition. It was also nice to get to the hospital and out in under an hour, be told the test came back negative (as in pre-term labor won't happen in the next 2 weeks), and kind of stand up to the resident OB and say look, 3 internal exams in 3 days just isn't necessary. All I got was an IV of fluids and some monitoring. Yes, I'm having contractions every 3-5 minutes, but they're not that bad, and since I've been having them for a while now they agreed not to give me any drugs (or steroid shots for the kid). That part was nice, I did feel I was listened to...and I'm sure men can make good OB's, but honestly, even I didn't really know what a cervix was until it got kicked regularly, how can they REALLY know what is normal or not?

Anyway, I go back to the regular doctor Monday morning (which is a real pain in the ass with teaching...I can probably get coverage for the period or 2 I will miss without having to officially call in sick, but if this is going to become regular he just will have to wait until 2:30pm to see me). I think I will have at least weekly, maybe twice weekly monitoring...which I really hope doesn't involve internal checks every time. Quite frankly, if you want the thing to stay closed, QUIT POKING AT IT! Geez.

I think I'm going to try some gentle swimming (I don't know any other way to swim without drowning anyway) and maybe yoga or at least some stretching on my own so that I don't go crazy. Not moving doesn't feel right. No running or anything, but maybe some water running.

To the hospital...but not sure WHY.

So I went to the doctor this morning. Cervix is short but closed, and the doctor said after 28 weeks (I'm almost 31) the length is not so important. Kid is head down, which probably explains the shortening. I am having contractions every 3-4 minutes though, which he didn't like. I tried to explain that this has been going on for 2 months, and really it's normal and we're fine, but he still said to go to the hospital (after school at least, so I came back for my lab period which would have been a pain to try to get a sub for). They will put me on an IV with fluids to hydrate me (like peeing 20 times a day isn't enough...still, I'm drinking as much as possible between now and then) as that may calm down the uterus. They will have the results of the pre-term labor test (fetal fibronectin?), which I just assume will come back negative. They may or may not give me a shot of terbutaline (I may or may not put up a fight). They may or may not give me a steroid shot to help with the baby's lungs (depends on test result I assume). I've been doing some research now on terbutaline (and re-reading Mama Simmons' posts from her terb experience) and one thing I read is that it shouldn't be given at the same time as the steroid shots. SO...there are some questions that need to be answered before anyone is putting anything else in me!

I get that she may come early. But I also trust my own intuition and instinct that we're not in any danger here, nothing is happening yet, all this is normal, and there's no need to worry (which truth be told, I am NOT worrying about anything except what they might give me to "help").

Good News, Bad News

Although it's all just news, really. Went to the doctor today. He said my cervix has shortened, and to be safe (i.e. if I want to avoid him later telling me to go on real bed rest) I need to stop running. (Of course, in reality that's more or less happened...I was down to 2-3 miles twice a week or so, just to say I was still running, but I wasn't, really) and just generally take it easy. I go back Friday morning for a test and some monitoring...if things haven't changed, still no running, but nothing else. If things have changed, I may go to the hospital for a steroid shot to help her lungs develop just in case. He didn't seem worried, really, and neither am I...she's big and healthy at 30 weeks 3 days, just super duper low and sitting (or head-standing, we'll see Friday) right on my cervix. I guess the added pressure from gravity and running just potentially speed things up. I can verify that she's low...I pee every 48 minutes (after every class), sometimes more often if I have a free period at school. I meant to count today...but I'd guess it's close to 20 times in 24 hours. Ridiculous.

He did say I probably wouldn't make it anywhere near my due date...fine if I get past Thanksgiving to 37 weeks, not so fine if she comes much earlier. Still, I find myself not worried...I feel NORMAL, the kid is a bruiser and moving all around, she's strong, and I just don't FEEL like anything is imminent. Still, I will gladly forego the running, and the jumping (bye-bye boot camp)...I think swimming and arm-lifting are still kosher, assuming Friday goes well...

The good news in all of this, aside from probably not going the full 40 weeks (I'm hoping for between 38-39, say December 10th-ish), is that he also said given how low she is, he'd expect my labor to be super short. Like, an hour or so from 3cm to OUT. I asked about epidurals and walking...he said not likely, so my current plan would be to go without, for the freedom of movement and the likelihood that it won't be so long.

Here are some pictures I just took...

My aching feet...

I think I have my first pregnancy symptom...seriously tired arches. I guess I mentioned this in a previous post, but I blamed it on the shoes. Maybe it's more than that...I think I need to see what kind of cheap arch supports I can find at the drugstore, and soon! The last couple days it's been non-stop! Stretching my calves, foot massages, and doing nothing help somewhat, but it's really annoying!!

I should take a belly pic now, as we're going out to Cape Cod for the weekend and I'll miss the weekly shot. I think I've turned a corner this week and definitely have the classic shape of a pregnant belly. I don't really mind it. But, taking a picture would require standing up...not so appealing right now.

I went for an hour-long walk yesterday (feet=agony) and today went to a core-type class Bea taught. Cardio-wise I feel fine...but doing lunges, squats, things like that, I am really starting to cheat. Another thing that doesn't make sense...I've gained 15 or so pounds, but 3 years ago (and for a long time before that) I weighed about what I do now. So it seems like my body should've been able to adapt to the old weight, especially as it came on slowly, but not so much the case. Oh well...at almost 30 weeks I think I'm pretty convinced that I haven't really lost too much fitness, and in the homestretch I don't even stress about maybe slowing down. In fact, I am seriously looking forward to a few days of doing pretty much nothing. I'll bring my running stuff, but we'll see if I actually run.

Sub-10 minute miles!

Ok, it was only 2 of them, on the treadmill. But considering I almost talked myself out of it altogether I am happy! I started out doing my usual 10 m/m pace, but after half a mile or so I wanted to go faster. I kept upping the pace a little, and by the last 2 minutes I was up to an 8 minute pace. Even just little bouts of running fast (or normal) makes me feel...normal. I actually felt less pregnant while running today than at any other time.

After the run I went to the core class. I've decided I can still do most of the ab work, but I go slower and aim for about 75% of the reps. Going slower puts less stress on the abs, but I still feel like I'm giving them a bit of a workout.

As the kid gets bigger and stronger, I have to say it just feels weird feeling her squirm around. Mostly cool, but sometimes...creepy.

I've been having Braxton-Hicks contractions since about 20 weeks, and they don't concern me (especially as my cervix was closed and normal at the last appointment), but I did feel them today during class (not during the run). They happen at any time though, lying down, standing up, morning, afternoon, night...but I just assume they're normal.

29 Week Belly Picture

It's just a habit to take a belly pic before I go to the gym Saturday mornings. Here's today's.

At boot camp, I had to revert back to my former role as fitness model. Sometimes Bea uses me when she's injured and can't do a certain move, to demonstrate. Today she wanted us doing partner drills, and I groaned when she said "You're the only one who knows this!" It was some weird move where you sit back to back, spin to one side and stand up, then jump and high five each other. It wasn't my finest moment, but I did it.

Ab work is getting harder...I can do everything still, but not all the reps. The "heavy" weights I use in class have dropped from 10lbs (the heaviest there are in the studio) to 8lbs, to 6lbs today. But, considering I'm carrying 2 more 6lbs dumbbells in my uterus, I could say I'm actually up to 12 lbs...

Group run tomorrow...we're going to do a whole 3 miles! Oh well...anything at this point is good!

The (Short) Good Things List

So for a while I've been planning to post about the GOOD things that I've noticed about pregnancy. Some of them may be a stretch, or just a way to make myself feel better, but still...this is my list (so far):

1. Walking has become an acceptable form of exercise. A true, honest-to-goodness workout. Before, I'd rather take a day off completely than JUST go out and walk. Now, on some days when I might otherwise talk myself out of anything besides a nice sit on the couch, I say, "Hey, a walk is PLEASANT and relaxing AND burns more calories than loafing AND keeps my leg muscles engaged a bit." I don't dread beginning a walk...sometimes (rarely, but sometimes) I would dread beginning a run because it had an expectation associated with it...go faster, farther, even if you don't feel like it. Walking, there's no goal except just go. I like that. (Plus, the one time I wore my heartrate monitor on a hour, hilly walk, I burned as many calories as I did in spin the day before...now what that says about my spinning intensity I might not like, but...)

2. A day off isn't as guilt-ridden. Today, for instance. I've worked out 12 days straight (not all intense, but all an hour or so of something). Yesterday my legs were shot from Tuesday's core class, but I did my hour walk (see above!) to get the blood moving. Today, hamstrings are still yelling. So instead of forcing anything (and ignoring the fact that Thursdays are supposed to be my only pool running day now), I went to a children's consignment store in town that's moving and having a big sale. I spent $15 and bought 8 outfits (including a red first Christmas outfit for a newborn), a baby sleep positioner (not exactly sure what that is or if i need it, but it was $3), and a fleece thing that goes in the car seat to keep the kid warm. The only guilt I feel is that I have to grade 3 classes worth of lab reports tonight, and I'm blogging instead. Nice.

3. Ummm...I know I had a longer list. I think of things when I'm walking and then promptly forget them. So this will be updated as I remember and discover more things!

Trampoline

Went to the doctor today, he did an ultrasound to check things out, all looks good. I, of course, couldn't make out a thing - it was much more fun when she was small and fit on the screen! Still, it was cool to see and feel her move at the same time. Her face is right below my belly button, her butt wedged into my pelvis. The doctor said I'm carrying super low (though the placenta is super high), and it looked as though I should be feeling a lot of pressure, but I'm not really. I do think this explains the increasing need to pee, and weird bladder twinges I get sometimes (today multiple times as I was teaching...it was weird). I imagine her bouncing up and down on her butt, using my bladder as a trampoline. Nice, kid, real nice. At any rate, I think I'm on a 2-week schedule with him now, which seems unnecessary yet but will make the time go faster!

Our entire upstairs is being painted this week...so we're living downstairs. It won't be fun sleeping on a double futon given the strange positions I find myself most comfortable in now...I told Fred one of us may be moving to the couch. I picked out a pale, soft orange for the kid's room. I didn't want pink, or blue, or green...I was thinking yellow, but I wanted bolder (I'm usually one to play it safe and just wanted DIFFERENT this time). So orange just kind of popped into my mind and stayed. I put 2 shades on the wall and really like one...we'll see if that holds in large doses.

Went to spin tonight. I need a new battery for my heartrate monitor (which I only wear to make sure I'm working hard enough during spin!). I felt like I had to have the handlebars up near my chin to be comfy (it wasn't really that bad, but a far cry from my normal settings on the bike). Still, a decent workout, I think. I'm just a bad judge of spin, I think I'm working hard but my heartrate often says otherwise. Whereas running is the total opposite, feels like a breeze (ok, not NOW, but you know what I mean) but the heart is pumping away! Tomorrow (day off...no school!) I want to run a little before core class. I need to get back up to running 3-4 days a week, even if it's just a couple miles.

New Goal!

Ok, so after the last post I went online and found the perfect next race! It's a 4 miler, in 3 weeks. Looks like a big race (i.e. more slow people). Clara and I got out and ran this morning, just 3 miles or so, but enough to remind me that running still feels pretty good and I can't give it up out of just plain laziness. It's really good to have people to run with, especially now. We have our little "team" now, and we'll keep up our Sunday runs together at least a little longer. Here's us after last weekend's race:Here are some 28 week belly pictures too...right before going to the gym. I decided not to go all baggy but to start to embrace the bump! With only 12 weeks (or hopefully 11) to go, I'm starting not to mind it. Almost entirely because when people ask how far along I am and I answer 6 1/2 months, I get pretty positive feedback! So for a pregnant lady I feel I look good...it's all about comparing apples to apples!

No goal

Well, I haven't run since Sunday. I knew not having a looming goal would do that to me. Either I need to find a 5k in a month or so (one where I won't be dead last...so, a big 5k), or figure out some other way to motivate. There's no good reason I haven't run...the 10k was good, I felt good, I still feel good...I just don't have a goal. I did go to the pool and run in the water yesterday. In fact I've worked out to some extent every day this week, but I feel like the intensity is waning. For instance, I haven't lifted at all in over a week. Today is supposed to be 2 miles on the treadmill and arms...I'll get to the gym soon.

I'm posting this link to a cool pregnant-running story one of my also pregnant blog readers is in...for the few of you who read this who don't also follow her blog, it's fun and inspiring!

A Fun PW...(not even a PPR)

The 10k was this afternoon. I knew it would be a personal worst, because I did a 10k in May around 14 weeks that I wouldn't beat today. Beautiful weather (a little hot actually). The kid was doing warm-ups all morning, really stretching out her legs. Fred, Luz, Clara and I were all there, but Jen was stuck on 95 with her boyfriend coming back from New Hampshire...not sure she'd make it before the start, because they were closing the road to the beach. But I picked up her number and got the pins in it, and left it on our windshield just in case! About 200 runners I think, I started where I belonged at the back with others whose only goal was to finish! I ran the first (of 4) hills because it was right at the start, too early to walk. Then the course went to the end of a road where there was a turn-around, and as I was heading back up the road, there was Jen! She caught me before the first mile (9:40) and told me the whole story...they got to the closed road, she asked a cop if the race had started, he said no and that he'd give her a ride in his cop car to the start! He even used his siren to move some people out of the way for her! The race started before she got out of the car, but she found her number and, obviously, managed to catch me. Actually she managed to catch a LOT of people, even Fred, (since I couldn't beat him, someone had to...she took her mission seriously!) and finished around 57:00, despite starting a few minutes behind everyone! My second mile was around 9:50, and the rest were right around 10:10 probably, plus I walked less than a minute on the other 3 hills. Most of the time I was running with the closest people 20 feet ahead or behind me, so no crowds to deal with! I passed one lady (who looked pretty fit, I don't know why she was slow) who then passed me when I walked a hill. She said something encouraging about keep running, and I had to say, "I'm 6 months pregnant, I'm allowed to walk the hills!" I did end up beating her (not that I'm being competitive or anything!). Then an older cop on the course nicely said, "You can go faster than that!" And I replied, "I'm 6 months pregnant, this is as fast as it gets!" His response: "Oh, then you shouldn't be out here at all!" It was funny. But annoying because I still don't look pregnant, let alone 6 months, and I want people to know that I'm slow for a reason! Pride. I debated what to wear, but ended up with a baggy shirt and a number pinned over the bump. A tighter shirt, which I considered, really just looked like a bulge of fat, especially with the support band. Oh well...I'm not complaining! I managed to not have to pee (hitting the port-a-potty 3 times pre-race helped) and not feel too dehydrated (there were 3 water stops, which was nice) at the end. Jen did pass Fred to win (well, not the race, but our group of 5), Fred was close behind around 57:45, Luz around 58:30, me around 1:02:30, and Clara around 1:05. Results not up yet. Overall fun, but I think that might have been my last race. I'll still run for fun, shorter distances, but...I don't know if I'm into races right now. And that's ok.

Oh, and the kid? She seemed to nap during the race, but a half hour later she was back at it...and hasn't stopped ALL DAY. I think she's going to be that baby that you have to put on the washing machine to get to sleep, she's so used to motion. At least we're planning to use cloth diapers...the waching machine will have plenty to do.

Shoes or relaxin?

I'm just finishing a day where I taught all but 1 period. My knees hurt. Almost feel like I hyperextended them, but as I only walked on Wednesday and did nothing yesterday, that seems impossible. Possible causes: Being on my feet all day in shoes with little arch support that I don't normally wear; or the pregnancy thing. Being RA related seems unlikely, there's no swelling or heat.

I'm at least going to the gym to do some upper body weights today. Hopefully it's the shoes. If not, I guess I just learn to run (or run/walk) with this like I am learning to run with a belly. And hopefully it doesn't progress.

I will never be that kind of parent...

Tonight was open house at school, where all the parents come to meet the teachers. Most parents in my (rich, white, snooty) district are fabulous and nice. A few aren't. One didn't let me down...when at the very end of my presentation for one class I mentioned that I would be on maternity leave in January and February, she had a snide remark. I wasn't caught off guard, but I did start to reply something about the timing not being great, but then followed with "Actually, it IS great for me, it's my first kid." But her aside, everyone who introduced themselves at the end was super nice and many said I looked great or they couldn't even tell I was pregnant. Again, not something I can control, but nice nonetheless! I'd rather be comfortable as long as possible.

Today was a day off from working out. I spent 2 hours at the hospital lab getting a glucose test and Rhogam shot since my blood type is O-. I haven't lifted at all this week. The core class Tuesday was actually ok, but more cardio than core. I think I'll lift tomorrow, do upper body. Then boot camp Saturday and the 10k Sunday!

Spin, take 2

Last night I went to the spin class I bailed on last week and was rewarded by it only being 45 minutes instead of the usual hour. I hate hour spin classes...mental, but I do. Tonight is the core class, but it's going to be easy because Bea (the teacher and my former trainer, who whipped my ass into shape 2 1/2 years ago...I'd like to see a showdown between her and Jillian of the Biggest Loser) just texted me that she hurt her Achilles on a run and someone else was subbing. I asked if the sub was good. Her reply? "You should go...she tries..." I like not only being able to keep up with my usual classes while pregnant (so far), but more importantly with HER classes. People have a love/hate relationship with her style. Fit people love it. People who only think they are hate it, because she makes them realize they're not. And I can only imagine the next day or two after when they try to get out of bed. The first class I took with her, the next day I felt almost as bad as when I ran my first marathon...can't sit down because your quads give out on you bad.

Maybe I should go early and get in a short run first.

10k...check

It was just a training run with the girls, but we did the entire course for next week's race. Today was hot and humid...my time was just over a 10 minute pace, and so if next Sunday's forecast of sunny, dry, and 74 holds, I think I can go under 1:02. Of course I'd really like to go under an hour, but I don't want to push much beyond comfortable. I'm pretty thrilled that I can still go out and run for an hour as I enter the 3rd trimester (26 weeks today, so I guess by next weekend it'll be official). Today I did walk the 4 short steep hills, as I plan to in the race, but each is only about a minute long, so I'm glad I felt as good running as long as I did. I wore the belt, and like last time, the first mile or two were a little uncomfortable but after that I had no ligament pain and felt good. Plus I didn't have to pee! Good thing as my usual stop is the beach which is actually the official race start, where we started from today-usually we start from a different place on the course and hit the bathrooms around 1.5 miles in. I think I just sweated out the extra fluids...did I mention HOT AND HUMID?

Yesterday I visited my friend in the hospital who just had her baby. She was 11 days overdue, and Caroline had to push for 2 hours before the baby twisted and got stuck and had to come out via emergency c-section. How much does that stink...having to go through labor AND a c-section...totally not fair! Anyway, Clara is beautiful, has a full head of light brown hair, complete with blond highlights! Pretty amazing, we joked she'd spent the extra 11 days getting her hair done for the big day. It was fun to hold such a brand new baby. She was all swaddled up, and when she wriggled all the squirming and somersaulting I've been feeling kind of made sense!

Maternity shirts

I stopped by the mall after school today to see if I could find a few more cheap maternity t-shirts to get me through the next 3 months. I used to like more form-fitted clothes...now, the looser the better. I'm not into showing off the bump, something about it just seems weird to me. I don't want anything clingy, tight, bright, striped, polka-dotted...you get the idea.

After a couple quiet weeks, the kid is back squirming in full force, kicking the computer as I write. I have the beginnings of a true basketball under my shirt. While I can still wear a few looser pre-preg pants with the bella band (oh, and an aside here...I did break down and wear a pair of maternity jeans to school one day this week, because I actually think I like them...they're fairly tight but stretchy everywhere but the tummy, so my ass doesn't look baggy and frumpy), none of my t-shirts works (hence the mall trip). With a properly worn cardigan or unbuttoned shirt over a t-shirt, I can still manage to not look really pregnant. Why is this such a goal? I don't know...and it's not a goal per se, it's just that all things being equal, I'd rather not draw attention to my belly. Then people start to say stupid stuff and I have to smile and try not to be rude (too often not something I'm terribly successful at).

My friend Caroline had her baby girl Thursday, 11 days after her 8/30 due date. Very exciting...we are going to see them Saturday. She insists she wants visitors while still in the hopsital...I'm pretty sure I will want people to stay away!

I should probably go run today. It's raining. I think I'll take the day off. One day off a week is OK, and I rarely even do that. Plus I just ate way too many chocolate covered pretzels (OK, dipped in peanut butter) and I can't run after that. Yesterday I was lifting (legs) and I know at the gym I'm starting to look more pregnant (lack of clothing options), but I kind of don't care there. It's different, maybe because there I want to stand out a little, to be noticed for not sitting on my ass and getting fat while pregnant. (Yeah, I realize the chocolate covered pretzels dipped in peanut butter don't help my case here...but I'm only up 11-12 pounds at 26 weeks, and I'm starting to think I have this in the bag...14 more weeks, 14 more pounds max, right? And 25 pounds is pretty ideal, though I wouldn't mind 20.) And the gym makes me feel GOOD. Aside from my gut/basketball, everything else has really stayed the same...legs, arms, butt, face, boobs (I guess they will change still, but I can hope!)...

First run with support belt

I tried out the Gabrialla band today on my run. At first, it didn't help. Even walking the first half mile or so to warm up, I had ligament pain no matter how I adjusted it...high, low, middle. So I sucked it up and started running, and got a side stitch pretty quickly (I haven't had one of those in a LONG time, and never while running so slowly). I walked for another minute or two (during which I was passed by a male runner, and I was a little disheartened to realize I didn't even care), then just sucked it up and ran. A few minutes in I felt fine, no more ligament pain, and actually had a good, if slow, 4.5 miles. (Didn't help that my legs are cooked from a core class last night, apparently I've been neglecting training my hamstrings.) So not sure if the band helped, but it didn't hurt, and as much as things are probably going to change in the next few weeks, I bet I will end up liking it.

Dilemma

OK, never thought this would happen. There's a spin class in half an hour. The pool is also open for lap swimming (unusual for this time of day). I actually want to go to the pool. Why? Well, the spin class is an hour instead of what I think is the normal 45 minutes. I don't want to work hard for an hour. I don't actually want to swim either...I want to water jog. I did not expect this. I figured I'd have to give something up because it hurt or felt weird. But I just don't WANT to spin. I'm trying to analyze, has this happened before but I usually just don't give in? Or is this new?

I also gave in and wore a maternity shirt today, just a long sleeved t-shirt. Regular pants, with the bella band. I actually felt cute, maybe the thing about maternity clothes now is that the choice between looking pregnant and looking fat (and stuffed into too-small clothes) is a real one, and, well, pregnant is a better option. 25 weeks, 1 day.

Is she or isn't she??

Maybe it's having to get up 2 hours earlier than "summer normal," but I've been wiped out the past 2 days. Didn't work out yesterday. Today I peeled myself off the couch after a 2 hour nap to walk for 50 minutes. It didn't wake me up...still tired.

Yesterday I told my classes of 9th graders that I'll be out in January and February because I'm going to have a baby in December. The kids from last year know, and I didn't want any whispering or rumors (a few years ago another science teacher told her kids she was pregnant, and one girl said, "Oh good, we thought you were just getting fat." Nice, huh?) It was funny...what I was wearing did not make me look pregnant, and watching them turn their heads to see my belly better was hilarious. One girl actually said, "But wait, that's in, like, 4 months. You don't look pregnant..." Well, actually 3, but, yeah...Then later one of the secretaries, whom I told back in June that I was pregnant (but she seemed to have forgotten) commented on how "fit and toned" I looked (yeah, I liked that). I patted my belly and said yeah, I'm just starting to show. She HAD totally forgotten that I was pregnant! That was cool.

Not that I always look so un-pregnant...but I do find myself dressing to hide it. Once I can't, fine...I'll wear the maternity clothes and maybe even like it. But at 25 weeks I STILL feel like I'm in the in-between stages and just look fat. I think slowly my uterus is moving up above my belly button, which will help me look more pregnant. When it's all low, it just looks like a gut. For whatever reason, I want to wait another 2 weeks to break out the official maternity clothes, just to not have to wear them til the third trimester. Whatever.

Running was SO FUN TODAY!!!

This morning Fred and I met my 2 friends for a 5.5 mile run. They showed up with a 3rd friend (who usually doesn't like to run as early as we do). I think this was the best run I've had in months. And it has nothing to do with pregnancy. 2 of the girls are a little slower and ran behind, but Fred, Luz and I were basically the exact same pace, and we ran a comfortably hard sub-10 pace (even though I walked 3 of the short, steep hills). Occasionally we talked, but mostly we just ran. I really haven't run with someone where I've had to push (and had FUN doing so) since...well, I guess since March or so when I ran an 18 miler with Kathy. I have missed that...

I am wondering how I'll feel tomorrow. My hamstrings and glutes are a little sore from some kettlebell stuff I did yesterday, and after a workout I can feel the ligaments around my uterus...not pain, just that I feel them. Standing up, walking...it's the same as I felt back around 14 weeks, which is weird considering things are much bigger now. I was watching my stomach last night before going to sleep, and it was funny...I can see rolls and kicks now, they look like more than just twitches. Cool. In June I saw a friend who was 25 weeks pregnant at the time, and she was much bigger than I am now, and saying she could feel the head, feet, etc. I definitely can't tell what's what! But sometimes I feel simultaneous movements on both sides of my belly, so I can sort of tell if the kid is stretched out. And sometimes she moves completely over to one side, and I have a very assymetrical bump! Weird.

Anyway, running at 24 weeks feels great (at least today), much better than earlier in the pregnancy. OH...and, my dad sent me an email yesterday saying he ordered me the BoB Revolution (in chocolate and blue!) and it should arrive within 2 weeks! He knew how much I wanted it, and it was on sale at REI. I said I would wrap it up and open it at Christmas, but I don't have that much self control!

New Belly Picture

I went to the gym tonight to run and lift. There have been no classes this week or last due to routine maintenance, so I've been lifting more on my own which has been good. I saw a super nice guy there that I chat with now and then, as we seem to be on the same random schedule and see each other a lot. He asked how I was handling the no class situation, and I figured that was my opportunity to see if he had noticed how fat/pregnant I'd become. "Actually," I said, "it came at a good time. I'm almost 6 months pregnant, and I'm starting to slow down a little." His reaction was funny. "Who's pregnant? What? You're 6 months pregnant?" So even though to people who know I do in fact look pregnant now, I guess I don't look too different in baggy gym clothes to people who don't know. Even though, in those baggy clothes, I feel and look so different from how I used to, and how I still perceive myself. Tuesday when I was lifting, was one of the only times I remember that lifting did NOT make me feel really good about my body. I ignored it mostly, because what can I do?

After I showered I put on some yoga pants and a shirt...that now is way too short:


So this is 23 weeks, 4 days, but at the END of the day. Not that there's much difference at this point. I do feel more pregnant now though. Kind of like there's a water balloon inside me, which probably isn't entirely inaccurate. Ab work is getting a little harder. It will be interesting to see next Tuesday at the core class how I do with that. I may be starting to make some modifications soon! And Boot Camp...well, I want to keep doing that at least 2 more times, at which point I'll be 26 weeks and in the third trimester, and probably will be OK if I have to give that up. I also finally ordered the Gabrialla band figuring it won't be too long before I'll need it, as I already feel a little...different...while running. Not sure how to explain, except to go back to the water balloon analogy. Everything else still feels good though! And I've started to really gain weight...I tend to go up about 2 pounds one week, then stay about the same, then go up another 2, etc. Still hoping for 20-25, I'm up about 11 so far (9 last week, this is a 2-pound week already!) at almost 24 weeks. I figure there's no way much of that is fat though. Some must be, because when I was working my biceps Tuesday I noticed that the vein I used to be able to see (which thrilled me, I admit) isn't there anymore. Oh well...

This would never happen with regular pants...

Last week I had to find footed PJs for my almost one-year-old niece, Iris. I found some cute ones at Baby Gap, and as they were the ONLY ones I found, I bought them. I also found two pairs of maternity pants I actually liked (as much as one can), on sale, for $6.97. I had previously bought a pair of Gap maternity pants for $12.97, I thought in a lighter khaki color. No brainer - I bought the darker ones, didn't even to bother trying them on (there's another story there, about when I DID try on the initial pair...). Today I go to do laundry, and decide it's time to wash some of the maternity stuff because I went back to school today and, well, I am showing now. (Picture soon.) Turns out, I have two pairs of the EXACT SAME pants. Excuse me, but FUCK!!!! Maternity pants suck. I would never pay $50.00 for ugly pants. The fact that I found some I liked that cost less than $7.00 but then BOUGHT THE SAME ONES TWICE...it is incredibly disappointing.

Anyone a pregnant size 6? They're yours if you want them...

23 Weeks

Last night the kid was SUPER squirmy, and she's getting strong! At some point around 2am I woke up and felt kicks near my belly button. Up to this point she's been really low, so it's weird to feel stuff that high. I got up to pee, and maybe gravity pulled her back down because she went right back (I can feel and see this hard bump where she is when she's low).

This past week I ran 19.5 miles in 4 days, rode twice and lifted three times. I can still keep just under a 10 min/mile pace without feeling like I'm working too hard, so I'm hopeful that the 10k in a few weeks will still be under an hour. But it is a month away I guess. At any rate, I can't complain about where I am and how I feel, it's been different and easier and a lot less scary than I anticipated pregnancy to be. I'm pretty confident that I'll be back in shape fairly quickly come spring. My goal (better to admit it, maybe I'll feel held more accountable) is to eventually (maybe by September when I want a new half marathon PR) end up about 10 pounds lighter than where I started this pregnancy (about 6-7 pounds lighter than my all-time low 2 years ago). And I want to improve my biceps...I had serious bicep envy a the diner yesterday with Fred when I saw a woman in her 40s with a school-aged kid with killer biceps. It's a product of the area I live in (rich, white, shamelessly superficial) that there are a lot of really fit women, and now especially when I see one with a kid, I gain a little confidence that I can do that too. (The rich part, not so much.)

One of my runs this week was without my ankle brace, because I had a scab on my Achilles' from wearing it with low socks a few days before. It was ok...I noticed that it wasn't there, but the ankle didn't hurt. Felt a little weak maybe. I'd have to say the RA has not given me anything to complain about (or even notice) beyond the usual sore wrists (due to past bone damage rather than active disease) after lifting.

Teachers go back to school tomorrow...I always go into this with mixed feelings, as by this point in the summer I am bored and feeling like I don't accomplish anything during the day, yet - well, I have to go back to work.

Runner's Legs??

Clarification for those who can't see the leg in this picture: In the middle is the knee (with a big blob on top??), below that is the femur (attached to a skinny butt), and the 2 white bones to the right are the tibia and fibula. Attached to a foot pointing up. This is from last Thursday, 21 weeks 4 days.

Still...

Did a little over 6 miles today. Started out well, first 3 miles under a 10:00 pace, then my legs started feeling heavy again, a little sore. OK, so I walked more, it was still 6 miles and it was beautiful out so that's good. I've been running much more than the new "usual" lately so it makes sense. Had a really good stretch and roll on the foam roller after...heaven.

The kid's kicks are strong enough now that when the laptop is on my lap, the whole thing moves if she hits it right. Very amusing.

I'm not worried about having the kid here...she's going to be awesome. I'm not worried about my lifestyle changing when I have the kid...it will, but still. What I'm worried about is that I will change after the kid. I won't want to run...I won't care about working out...it'll be too easy to find something more important to do. Clearly the fear of loss of identity is a common theme in the other pregnant runners' blogs I read...which is a comfort. But it's a worthy fear...who am I if I don't WANT to run anymore? It probably won't happen. Still...

I am so not touchy-feely...

Another fabulous 5 miles today, this time outside. A 10-minute pace, with allowances to walk up the 3 short but steep hills. I probably don't need to walk those (or all of them anyway) but then again, I guess I don't need to NOT walk them either. Weird mental stuff, this pregnancy thing.

Fred and I went to the bookstore last night and I flipped through a couple women's running books and one on fitness in pregnancy. For what they are, they're ok...but I'm sick of all this touchy-feely shit about how you're "blossoming" and you're "nurturing a new life" so it's ok to be lazy. (I'm not saying pregnancy doesn't change things...obviously it does, as my own less-competitive attitude shows, but that's no reason to become a wimp or a whiner.) I've had an easy pregnancy so I'm not as sympathetic as I might be, but I think there's a difference between taking it easy because you're nauseous and fatigued, and taking it easy because you're afraid to hurt the baby or something. If fitness was a part of your self-definition before you got pregnant, why on Earth if you're healthy wouldn't you keep it up??? I know plenty of people who will relate to this and plenty more (who will never read this) who think trying to stay fit while pregnant is somehow selfish. As if getting fat and lazy is somehow more beneficial to the kid inside. Anyway, at the bookstore I was wishing there was a more hard-assed approach to fitness in pregnancy, a book where the author said, "Look. You're not sick, you're not an invalid, and there's no reason for you to help yourself get fat here. Get off your ass and get moving. Walk, run, lift, swim, whatever, but make sure your heartrate gets up there (no more of this 140 bpm max shit) and make sure you SWEAT. No one's saying become a pregorexic, but you're an athlete, ACT LIKE ONE!" It's just so taboo to talk this way...I don't get it. There's nothing unhealthy about it if you're being healthy!!!

I guess I'm ready for a fight...I guess I'm always ready for a fight about some things...which is silly...but once I start showing (and with a 2 pound weight gain this week it can't be far away), I anticipate some comments.

It was just so great...

I went to change my clothes to go running this afternoon after the ultrasound (third time's a charm...they saw all the heart views and everything's groovy), and of course it begins to thunder. So I drive to the Y, and it begins to rain and hail. I sat in the car til the hail stopped, then went in and got on the treadmill. I was amazed...I began at the usual 10 minute mile pace, and kept going for 5 miles! I could've gone longer...should've...but I had a blister on my toe and I was half an hour late for meeting friends for dinner. I felt NORMAL! I thought about going faster but didn't want to jinx myself. I was loving it. My breathing wasn't hard, my heart rate was normal (I took it at the end only, was about 165...which when I run doesn't feel high, but when I spin, I have to work super hard to get it that high and I don't like to work that hard), my legs didn't get tired at all or feel powerless...it was just so great. I guess it won't last, but now I want to run every day until...

Gorgeous Weather

Yesterday was so beautiful out. I went for a 4 mile run before core class. I did part of the 10k course I haven't run so I'll start to learn it. I learned there are 3 possible places I'll let myself walk. Hey, at my pace, walking the steep hills isn't much slower than running them, maybe I'll add an extra 5-10 sec per mile when all's said and done. But the course is nice. I'll run the entire thing a few times in the next few weeks (yay, I'll run a whole 6 miles! It's been a LONG time!). Turns out the race is Sept. 21, a week later than I'd thought, and I'll be 27 weeks...officially a third trimester race!

The down side of yesterday's run was that I got passed. Some guy. It took all I had not to call out after him, "But I'm 5 months pregnant!"

Today was also beautiful out. I took a morning nap, went to spin, took an afternoon nap...maybe it's time for school to start! Well, only because September means I'm getting closer to December.

Short is the New Long

Yesterday Fred and I went out for a run together...he's decided to run the 10k in September as well. He hasn't run since the half back in April, so we ran about 2.5 miles together and then he headed home while I kept going for another 2. It was good running with him, because his pace is what mine is now...and he's very steady. Whereas last week when I ran this course and walked a few times, this time I ran the entire thing (10 min miles), no walking. It takes me a long time now to warm up and feel normal (probably why I cave in and walk, I still start out too fast). Around 3 miles, I realized I felt really good and strong, like I could keep going for a lot longer. (That feeling disappeared a mile or so later, of course!)

I need to understand that 4.5 miles actually does constitute a long run for me now, and that's fine. It's been a long time since I've had to train for a 10k...usually 6-7 mile runs are normal. WERE normal. Right.

In other news, when I went to the doctor last week I'd gained half a pound over the previous visit a month ago. I think things may speed up now, as a few days this week I've been 155 lbs. My weekly average yesterday (at 21 weeks) was 153, or up a total of 7 pounds. At this point, the pound a week thing sounds fine, but again, whatever happens happens. And my belly might look more pregnant than I let on...I just refuse to wear anything that makes me look pregnant, meaning I only wear looser things. I tried on a few pairs of work pants this morning, and while some (by no means all) still fit, the normal pants definitely make me look pregnant. Wider legs and drawstrings don't...so I think I'll head out to TJ Maxx this morning to see if I can find any cheap pants like that to get me through a couple months. At some point I won't mind looking pregnant, but I'm still in this weird in between stage where what I wear makes a huge difference in how I look (and feel).

UPDATE: I found 2 great pairs of yoga-type pants from Nike, one black and one brown. Both long and loose, but nice enough that I will totally wear them to school! Comfy and at least now I feel like I look pretty good in them.

Still Biking, Getting Better!

20 miles on the bike at 5 months pregnant, average speed almost 15 mph...I gotta say, not bad. Things are definitely easier in the second trimester (well, the last 3 weeks maybe), despite having a resting heartrate in the 70s (compared to in the 50s pre-preg)! I'm sure one of these days I'll start to show and then things will get uncomfortable, but right now it's really easy to forget I'm pregnant. Well, until I lie down...I was watching my belly today and I can officially see kicks...very strange but fun! My belly just pops up and down really quickly. She's still super low (way below my belly button) so watching (and feeling) requires unbuttoning my pants, not something I'd do in public, but so fun at home!

Anyone want to tell me if I look pregnant yet, or just pudgy? (This was last week, at 20 weeks.)

Not Too Slow!!

This morning was the 5k. Sarita, Clara, Jen and Jen's dad all ran with me. Beautiful day, couldn't have asked for nicer weather. At the first mile mark, a lady was standing with a watch calling out times. "7:52...7:54...7:56..." Ummm, ok, I tried to believe her, but that was just impossible. I would believe it if I weren't 20 weeks pregnant...but no way. I tried to keep up the same pace just in case, but she must've been WAY off because my final time was 29:10, for a 9:25 pace. Not bad, definitely under my 30:00 goal! It felt good. I did feel slow, but I still pushed and the effort was strong. At the end, a woman who had continually walked, then sprinted, walked, sprinted through at least the last mile (alternating passing me and being passed) tried to to outsprint me. But I hadn't NOT walked to be beaten by someone who HAD, so I made sure I outkicked her.

Oh, and then we had the BEST ice cream (the reason I picked this particular race...free ice cream at 9:30 am!)...they had a bunch of flavors, but I went with pumpkin...good choice. YUM.

September 14 is our next race...10k. If I'm going to be much slower, I at least want to LOOK pregnant by then.

Hmmm...the dates and times seem to be off on my last few posts. The last one was written Wednesday but it says Monday. Oh well.

So after my 4.5 mile "run" Wednesday morning, I went out for a 4.5 mile walk with 2 friends. 9 miles for the day...walking or running, it's still 9 miles, which is the longest I've gone since the half at the end of June! I was pretty exhausted though (but managed to get through the day with no naps, unlike Tuesday which was a 2-nap day!). Today I did a leisurely 17 miles ride with Eric, and despite thinking my legs would be shot, I did ok. Guess biking and running use the muscles differently.

Haven't really lifted this week, except for the core class Tuesday. I could go to Bea's class tonight (she's subbing for someone and promised a boot-camp-like experience), but I think I don't want to. I'd never miss a Saturday boot camp, but...well, it's Thursday. The poor people who do show up though are in for a rude awakening...her classes are 10 times tougher than the person's she subbing for. Anyway, I did more cardio this week than I have been, so I guess I can slack on the weights a little. As long as there's balance...

And the kid was a maniac last night, her kicks are getting really strong!! I'm 20 weeks Sunday...half way there!

Words of Wisdom

Just got the book "Running and Pregnancy" off of Amazon. Recommended, if for nothing else than the little things that make you feel good. For instance, in a list of highs and lows of pregnancy, one of the highs is "Knowing you'll never again have to work so hard to run so slowly." Amen. I just read this after returning from another 4.5 mile effort, hillier than the one I ran successfully on Monday. So that little thought means a lot right now!

I DID run the whole thing!

...Minus a quick pee stop (this despite drinking nothing in the morning and peeing a few times before leaving...) Averaged about 9:45 min/mile. Felt good. Then I lifted (back and biceps and abs), and later tonight took a spin class. I feel back in the groove...a slow groove admittedly. But I'm hopeful for Sunday's 5k...maybe 9 minute miles!

I will run the whole thing...I hope...

It took the other two bridesmaids to help, but I did manage to get the dress on and zipped. I felt like a sausage, but luckily the tight part was just around the ribcage so I didn't LOOK like a sausage. And my belly was nice and loose underneath a bunch of pleats. If I wasn't pregnant and pudgy-looking there, I would have disliked the dress a lot more...so NOT my style, but worked out ok considering, as a "skinny" dress would have just made me look and feel worse.

I managed to run a little (20 minutes maybe) on Friday morning, nice and slow and it felt really good. I walked another 25 minutes and called it a good day. My friend (the bride) had some 12 pound weights at her house so Saturday I did a mini total body workout.

Today I will get back in the swing...run in the morning, spin in the evening. I am actually about to head out for the run, I think. 4.5 miles. I feel (sitting here on the couch) that I can totally do this, run the whole distance, nice and slow, without problems. My optimism is very motivating. However, the last few times I've thought this, as soon as I started I realized I was mistaken. Maybe today if I start REALLY slow, I'll have a chance? I just want to be able to RUN! Not that I mind walking, but it's ONLY 4.5 MILES. I will update later...

Bridesmaid dress at 19 weeks

Tomorrow I'm off to Philadelphia for a wedding...I'm a bridesmaid, and I'm pretty sure the dress I bought the week I found out I was pregnant still fits. I tried it on a week or so ago, and the only thing that was tight was in the ribcage area, weird. When I bought it I was torn between the size that fit (though it was to big in the boob area) and the next one bigger, and got the one that fit, counting on my boobs growing by 19 weeks. Well, they didn't (for which I am eternally grateful, I seem to be the only woman I know who does NOT want big boobs, EVER). So I'm glad I didn't get the bigger dress. Or rather, I will be glad, assuming someone is able to zip up the side for me.

I KNEW IT!!!

The little squirmer that's been punching and kicking is a GIRL!!! We didn't get a good picture as she was all balled up and wouldn't move (my fault for scheduling the ultrasound when I'm usually at the gym, which tends to be nap time for the fetus), despite my getting up and jumping around. So I have to go back in 2 weeks so they can get a few more measurements. BUT, everything looks good! And the best part is now I don't have to return the super cute Christmas and Easter dresses I already bought for her...

Finally worked out HARD

I think I haven't run in a few days. Forget long runs, that's been weeks...but even just "going out for a run." Partly I blame the 90+ degree heat and accompanying humidity. Well, maybe "thank" is a better work than blame. But I do hope my attitude changes once the weather does, because in the abstract I miss the hour and 2 hour jaunts around town. Though logistically now that would be a nightmare...suburbanites around here probably wouldn't take kindly to me peeing on their manicured lawns. At any rate, I still do weekly speedwork on the treadmill which I mostly enjoy. Strangely the weird uterus-ligament-overuse-soreness I had for a few weeks hasn't been back. Ok, maybe it's because I'm not running as much. But...I still do boot camp and all that jumping and even that doesn't produce the waddling. So, maybe the ligaments have just gotten stronger and are done with that silliness.

So in place of running I've gotten back into spinning. I was thinking about this at a red light on the way to the gym this morning...although I always do both, I really do have seasonal patterns to my workouts. I think every summer I back off of the running and do more spinning (and cycling). I think it's because of the heat. So I shouldn't blame the pregnancy for everything. Today was the first day I actually remembered that I LIKE spinning. It's one of those things that is very instructor-specific for me. There are a few instructors I like, but it's too easy to take it easy in their classes. Today Bea subbed for someone and it was a whole different world. I actually WORKED. Bea doesn't believe in breaks longer than about 30 seconds, so though there's time to get my heartrate back down, there's no time to negotiate with myself about whether or not I should take it back up again or not. It felt great.

Tomorrow...the big ultrasound. I'm assuming the kid is healthy, so I'm basically waiting to find out if it's a boy or a girl. Weird weird weird weird weird...

Social Ride...

So I rode with Eric today. I haven't been looking forward to our weekly rides as much lately, probably because 3 weeks ago or so he finally got fast enough and fit enough to start to pass me on hills. A little background...he's 51, was one of the first people I rode with when I got my bike 2 years ago, taught me a LOT, was very patient (though I got fast quickly and could keep up pretty soon after we started), we used to go out on 40+ mile rides 2 summers ago that were so much fun. He had cancer (melanoma) the winter after that, and when he did start riding again our rides were slow and short. I liked them anyway, even though it wasn't much of a workout. So, now that he finally is faster than I am, I had a few weeks of pouting. Today I said look, this is a social ride, no more than 20 miles, and be prepared to go slow! He was totally ok with that of course, and we did 15 miles (he went on to do another 5 or so after we got back to the cars) and it was fun again.

Still, I have ridden twice this week with people who are still slower than I, and I will admit that I had a LOT of fun on those rides. No pressure to go fast, and also (more importantly?) no pressure or guilt from myself that I didn't WANT to go fast. So, now I think I'll keep riding longer than the end of July I'd sort of mentally set as my limit when it was getting less fun. They may not be long or fast rides, but I'll be on my bike having fun. I do give myself permission to quit, guilt free, when it's no longer fun at all. But I also have to remember that different things can be fun now. It's all about change, and rolling with that change, and accepting it. Which hasn't been nearly as hard as I'd feared. Especially since I can feel the little bugger inside me kicking and stuff now...!!

In good company

It's good to read about other athletes' experiences with pregnancy. As much as I told myself, "I'll run until the end, I'll keep working out, etc." the truth is I just have to take it all as it comes. Yes, I'm still running, but boy is it slow (still don't understand why, my heartrate is similar but my legs and body just feel like lead). And filled with walk breaks. Truth is, walking is more FUN these days. I will still do a little speed work on the treadmill, but it's shorter and a little slower than before. I can't do anything about it, I just got SLOW. So why fight it, why stress out? I just do what I can, figuring as long as I'm getting in my workout (or two) a day I'm dong well.

My weight gain has been minimal so far (4-5 pounds at 17 weeks...I will ask the doctor WHY he thinks I should gain 30-35 pounds, I admit to not understanding trying to gain excess fat when I had plenty of excess to begin with); my weight lifting (arguably the most important thing to me right now, I love my muscles) has been the same and more frequent than before when I was focusing more on running (yay!); and I still feel like I'm doing a lot.

So, as inspiring as it is to read about the fabulous experiences other pregnant athletes are having, it's equally fabulous to read that others have slowed down more than I. Here are two examples I've found so far:

An elite cyclist.

An Ironman.

Stupid ankle again

Ran today with the girls...and it was great. I've run with them a few times, but before I was just a lot faster, and it's hard to run at an unnatural pace, whether too fast or too slow. Now, more or less, we're the same. What gave me trouble today was my ankle. It really hurt. Of course I ran anyway (luckily we all wanted to walk on the way back...hot, sunny, thirsty, lazy) but it's just having a bad day. I tried to take
a picture of my ankles, hard to get a good angle with a webcam. Still, you can see on my left ankle that it's swollen. On the outside it seems to crease more but on the inside is where most of the swelling is. Not awful, I guess feels just like a twisted or sprained ankle would (don't think I've ever had one of those though). And it'll probably feel fine tomorrow. Though the swelling is constant.

In other news, I think I felt a couple kicks yesterday. Not sure...but likely.

I am unoriginal....and that's so fabulous.

Not even going to bother posting my own stuff tonight...found this blog and this post (the end part) pretty much says it all.

Something I could never "get over" was the idea that if I wasn't working REALLY HARD, I wasn't gaining any fitness. All the books say to do long runs EASY. Well, I never really could. I had one pace, maybe 2: comfortably hard. So now that 10 minute miles qualify as that, I'm actually looking forward to the little experiment. I just cannot push myself much anymore (somehow I still rock at boot camp, but I think little bursts like that are different from a sustained effort). There's no such thing as a tempo run or even a long run anymore. Of course I still love working out, it's just that what those workouts look like has changed somewhat. So the experiment is that from now on much of my cardio will be at a heart rate of around 70-75%. Maybe a few bursts of more, but in general, I'm happy with slow like I wasn't before. And if when all's said and done my fitness doesn't suffer, lesson learned.

So I went to spinning today, an instructor I like but haven't seen in year probably. She knew I was pregnant, and talked to me for a while at the end of class. She was so encouraging...I love that kind of support from women who've been there (she was pretty active her last pregnancy, a few years ago). And her commenting on the fact that I don't look pregnant (phew...4 months down, so only 5 then of officially "being pregnant") and it's so good that I'm still active and stuff made me feel good. Really good. And another woman who knew I was pregnant asked, "So you're like 10 weeks now?" I said, "Ummm, more like 4 months." And while shopping today with my friend who's almost 8 months, she tried to steer a conversation with a random mom away from herself by saying about me, "She's pregnant too, four months," and the other woman was surprised.

And so while I think I look fat, and definitely not pregnant, at least most people don't notice either. Can't complain. But still, while I'm fine each day, I'm afraid of the unknown. Especially since the doctor told me to gain more weight?? I don't see the need to TRY to do that, really.

The Half

In a previous post I mentioned that I don't like seeing a race pace with a 9 in front of my mile times. Never mind...yesterday's Fairfield Half saw me walking up ALL the steep hills (there are SO many) and my chip time put me at a speedy 11:00 per mile pace! If I'd realized, and hadn't had to stop and pee (but only once!), I would have squeaked out a 10:59. Oh well. A far cry from my half PR last fall with an 8:42 pace...of course, on the Fairfield course I've never even broken 2 hours, so I at least should compare apples to apples. At any rate, I felt good after, not nauseous and pukey like last year, and I'm not even sore today. It was nice to take it easier, not have any mental pressure of "Go faster!" but rather find me telling myself "Slow down!" I did squeak out a few consecutive sub-10 minute miles in some of the middle, flatter stretches of the race. Later talking to a friend whose sister is a gynecologist, and complaining that I feel like I shouldn't be slower or feel so much going on around my uterus because I'm not showing, she said her sister told her that even when a pregnant woman isn't showing, she does move differently. That made me feel better...because it's true for me. There are all these ligaments I never knew about before, that I can feel now, when walking or running, and it's just....different.

I'm posting a picture I took this morning so I can keep a little bit of track of when and how my belly changes. So far, not much. This is 14 weeks. In the morning. By afternoon, I definitely look fat (not pregnant).

Six months vs Nine

So I was thinking yesterday that if I'd known going into pregnancy that the first 3 months would be easy, that I wouldn't be showing or gaining any weight, that I'd still be working out and running (slower, but still running) and cycling and lifting, that a lot of the fears wouldn't have been there. Nine months sounds like a long time to put your life on hold, however good the reasons for it may be. Six months (or, dare I hope for 5? 4?), that's doable. At almost 14 weeks, today I went on a 37 mile bike ride and Sunday I'm going to do a half marathon. And I just feel...normal. Good.

This video is inspiring (at least to a pregnant girl afraid of becoming too fat):

I'm gonna "run" the half...

So the weather for Sunday's Fairfield Half Marathon looks cool (60s and 70s), not hot and humid like the last 2 years. So I'm going for it. Friday I ran 11 miles..sort of. I had planned to run almost 7, a favorite route in North Stamford and New Canaan I haven't run in a LONG time. After about 4 miles is an elementary school where in the summer I used to stop and pee and get a drink (both more important than ever now!). Well, it's not summer, and with school still in session the school was all locked up against intruders. So no pee, no drink, and I just walked the last 3 miles. Later that night I met a friend to run a 4.5 mile loop. It was great, she's a little slower so I ran slower (which felt good) but she pushed a little, and we walked the last mile too. Then today I ran into another teacher who has run it before, and she said she and her boyfriend were going to run just for fun...run when they felt like it, walk when they felt like it. I'll start out with them, maybe stay with them, maybe do my plan of walk for a minute at every mile marker. I've wanted to try that strategy before, but always felt like it would slow me down (despite evidence to the contrary). So why not now, when my only goal is to finish and feel good at the end?

I'm still probably two months away from needing maternity clothes, but maternity running/workout clothes are so scarce. I don't understand why the big companies don't make them...how can there NOT be a market?

Still normal

I was spinning yesterday and in class was a woman who used to go to the boot camp class I take. When I asked where she'd been, she said she was pregnant. "Me too!" I said (I forgot the "Congratulations" part til later), and she said "And you still go to THAT class?" Well, yeah. She's older, a month further along, with her second, and I guess her doctor told her no jumping. Hmmm. Well, maybe there are reasons for her, but I'm jumping away until it doesn't feel good anymore.

With a week or so to go until the official end of the first trimester, I've been pleasantly surprised at how normal things seem. Normal in that I don't feel or look "pregnant." I think we (or at least I) have always been fed the messages like "Pregnant women get fat," "Pregnant women get nauseous," "Pregnant women shouldn't lift heavy things," and basically "Your life is over, accept it." I suppose, not having any real frame of reference, I bought into that. And yet, when I really stop and think about the pregnant women I have known, the nausea wasn't an issue for many, those who started out thin stayed thin, those who started out fat stayed fat, and there are plenty of pregnant women lifting and running. Like anything, I guess it is what you make it. I wish I hadn't been so worried, and I wish I wasn't currently so worried about what's still to come. It's just the unknown and the not being totally in control that I don't like. And I guess you just live in your reality and accept it.

I should have more faith in myself. It's very rare that I've ever been unhappy with anything in my life, and when I have been, I've found a way to change it or make it better. And I really am excited to see the kid...

The kid...12 weeks

I'm realizing that everyone I know who's pregnant is having a girl, and so I'll probably have a boy. We won't know for another 2 months probably. That's a little bit annoying...

Went on a nice 19 mile bike ride with Eric and Fred yesterday, and a 5.5 mile run today with Fred. Feel good. Beautiful weather, can't wait for the next 9 days of school to be OVER WITH so summer can begin!

Unbalanced

So this has apparently changed from an RA and fitness blog to a pregnancy and fitness blog. Obviously because I'm pregnant, but not so obviously because the RA has been fine lately. I guess it's not uncommon for it to clear up during pregnancy, and I hadn't been thinking too much about it (other than a little anxiety about going off the prednisone, which was uneventful) but everything's been fine.

So at 9 1/2 weeks, I haven't gained any weight yet, my boobs haven't gotten bigger (thank god) yet, but I am feeling fat in the belly (not showing, way too early for that, just fat). And slow. My heart rate while running doesn't seem much higher most days (sometimes it seems to, sometimes not) but the perceived effort is greater. And that makes me wonder if I'm just being a wimp and not pushing enough (but I"m too lazy to really care). Today I wanted to do 6 miles, but it's been cold (60s is cold at the end of May) and so I went to the Y immediately after school (if I'd gone home I would have napped and never gotten up). I just never got into it. I kind of got into it when I ran a little faster (I think that was a 9 minute pace...that used to be my warm up pace), so I did a couple longer intervals (even a half mile a an 8 min pace, woo-hoo) but walked after all of them. I'm sure I'll have good days again...I'm sure once it warms up and I start running outside again (I still can't believe I trained for that marathon outside in February and March when it was 20 degrees, now I won't run outside when it's 60 degrees) I'll have more fun. Maybe I'm just a little burned out. I've been trying to focus more on lifting and core work, which is fun. But then I worry that I'm not doing enough cardio. I need to mentally get in balance here.

Mothers' Day 10k

Ran the Norwalk Mothers' Day 10k this morning, the 3rd year in a row. And the slowest! But still held an 8:59 pace, I hope...I don't like seeing 9's any more (never mind the 10 for the marathon).

Ankle acting up a bit as I taper off the prednisone for the kid, but shouldn't get too bad. Also went to boot camp yesterday for the first time in a while, and survived but boy am I sore today. I don't even know how certain body parts (my upper back for instance) get sore, as I can't remember doing anything other than cardio and squats, but that's why I love the class: it just works everything.

I often wear a heartrate monitor now when I work out, but I don't actually know why. It's not like I slow down or stop if it the number gets too high, I slow down or stop if I feel like I need to. Which makes more sense to me than an arbitrary number, especially as there doesn't exist a magic number everyone is supposed to stay below. My body naturally is slowing down...the 8:59 pace today was hard, whereas last year an 8:08 pace was hard. My heartrate, or at least my perceived exertion, was fairly similar. It just doesn't make sense to me to slow down on purpose simply because I'm pregnant. If it feels good, it IS good.

One weird, weird thing I've noticed in these last 3 weeks since I found out...my weight has been eerily constant. Usually it fluctuates by a few pounds one way or another on any given day. The last 3 weeks, every day, I have been within 0.8 pounds of every other day. And it's a lower number than it's been recently, too. Despite my constant hunger and my giving in to said hunger. Kinda cool, though most people don't gain in the first trimester anyway. Obviously I'll gain once the kid starts to grow for real (we're still around 1.5 cm, raspberry-like, according to last Thursday's ultrasound, with a heartrate of 146 bpm), but maybe this means it'll be mostly the kid gaining, not me. The doctor said given my height and weight and activity level I should shoot for 30-35 pounds. I'm shooting for 20-25. All baby and fluids, no extra fat (as much as that's possible).

Very weird. Because a lot of the time I still don't FEEL pregnant.

Heartbeat!

4:33. Not under 4, but I don't think that would've happened even without the kid tagging along. The first half was 2:02, just a bit over pace, and the weather couldn't have been more ideal, BUT, I knew under 4 wasn't going to happen at that point so I settled for under 4:44, making this still my 2nd fastest marathon. Close enough. I'm happy I ran it, I'm happy I am showing myself that pregnancy doesn't have to end this part of my life, I'm happy I'm setting a good example for myself.

Went to the doctor last Wednesday, he did an ultrasound and I saw a heartbeat! Super cool. It's just a little blob right now, but I go back Thursday with Fred and it might be slightly more visible.