Something I could never "get over" was the idea that if I wasn't working REALLY HARD, I wasn't gaining any fitness. All the books say to do long runs EASY. Well, I never really could. I had one pace, maybe 2: comfortably hard. So now that 10 minute miles qualify as that, I'm actually looking forward to the little experiment. I just cannot push myself much anymore (somehow I still rock at boot camp, but I think little bursts like that are different from a sustained effort). There's no such thing as a tempo run or even a long run anymore. Of course I still love working out, it's just that what those workouts look like has changed somewhat. So the experiment is that from now on much of my cardio will be at a heart rate of around 70-75%. Maybe a few bursts of more, but in general, I'm happy with slow like I wasn't before. And if when all's said and done my fitness doesn't suffer, lesson learned.

So I went to spinning today, an instructor I like but haven't seen in year probably. She knew I was pregnant, and talked to me for a while at the end of class. She was so encouraging...I love that kind of support from women who've been there (she was pretty active her last pregnancy, a few years ago). And her commenting on the fact that I don't look pregnant (phew...4 months down, so only 5 then of officially "being pregnant") and it's so good that I'm still active and stuff made me feel good. Really good. And another woman who knew I was pregnant asked, "So you're like 10 weeks now?" I said, "Ummm, more like 4 months." And while shopping today with my friend who's almost 8 months, she tried to steer a conversation with a random mom away from herself by saying about me, "She's pregnant too, four months," and the other woman was surprised.

And so while I think I look fat, and definitely not pregnant, at least most people don't notice either. Can't complain. But still, while I'm fine each day, I'm afraid of the unknown. Especially since the doctor told me to gain more weight?? I don't see the need to TRY to do that, really.