Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Endometrial biopsy

Eh, no big deal. An HSG test hurt more and took longer. This was so quick (about 10 seconds, if that), I almost didn't need a sub for school (I taught my morning class, drove into the city, missed one class but made it back just in time for my afternoon lab). I liked the doctor who did it...he was very friendly, chatty, good sense of humor. Damned if I can remember his name, though. Insurance might even cover this too...meaning I am lucky enough to be spending more on NYC parking that on meds or the actual IVF procedure.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Round 2

Went into Manhattan this morning to do bloodwork related to co-culture. Tomorrow I go back for the biopsy. Then Saturday I start estrogen patches until I get my period and then it's clomid and whatever other drugs Ivan on this time. I think it is less of the injectables but the clomid is supposed to be kind of bad do... Trade off.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


As cycle #2 gets closer here's what I'm thinking.

First, I've decided to spend 30 days focusing on eating less, losing weight, being disciplined. It was precipitated by yet another bout of colitis...probably related to something autoimmune as it all turns out. I am on another drug for it (I think I'm taking over 10 pills a day now, including vitamins and supplements, plus my Enbrel shot weekly...I'm the healthiest sick person I know though) but so far, not helping. My only relief comes from not eating...which, of course, brings its own problems. So I've decided just to eat the minimum. Probably it's about what I was eating when I lost weight in 2006, maybe 1200-1500 calories a day. Pain is a good motivator. We'll see what happens...I'm on day 5 and doing well, feeling pretty good.

When IVF #2 starts in mid-March, I'll either have good abs going into the pregnancy, or good abs for summer. I think this is partly protecting myself, but I kind of don't even want to do the cycle. I'm happy with just Andra. I want another kid, but not another baby.
It isn't something I really feel able to think through thoroughly because I don't know what the outcome will be. To spend energy wondering what my life will be like with or without at this point isn't productive although I really want to. I just don't then want to choose which ending I want and then get the other.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Getting in a groove and it's over...

Second day of 3 miles in the morning. Plus some lifting and abs and stretching. Damn, and vacation is almost over.

Considering a little more the idea of getting a treadmill. The basement will be much cleaner after some time spent down there today, and this weekend we will move my old white iron twin bed into Andra's room (once we buy a boxspring) which will leave only her disassembled crib and some seasonal storage stuff. But largely the main room will be cleared and cleaned and there is plenty of room for a treadmill. I just figure...as important as the Y was to me for the last 6 years, it's just less so now. All the classes I used to take...I don't go because they are all at 6:30pm. Saturday is just TRX now, and I haven't even been in the pool in months (longer? a year?). There are weights and everything at school. I have the bike trainer in the basement, and a Jillian Michaels DVD I haven't actually opened yet. All my workouts are 40 minutes or less. My old trainer said she's going to again do an outdoor bootcamp when the weather improves (yeah, 6:30, but I'll manage to get there sometimes). And I think, just maybe, I could set my alarm for 5:15 to get in a 3 mile run a couple times a week if I knew I didn't have to leave my house. So I figure $1000 (aka a Y membership for a year) will get me something good enough, but I plan to go look tomorrow and just start thinking more seriously. I started thinking about this a while ago, but am more serious now.

Thinking more about upcoming IVF #2. My brother is having kid #2 in May, my other sister in law has started sort of trying (I think after our troubles, she realizes maybe waiting isn't the best idea, she's my age), all the people on Facebook...I'm not jealous really at all, I still contend that in the end if we only have Andra I'm good with that. (Maybe we'd adopt later, an older, 3-ish kid...part of me wonders if that's part of the plan for us.) But still, hard not to have a bit of baby fever. Hard to look at that disassembled crib in the basement and wonder how long it'll be there before we either need it or get rid of it. Hard to hear my mom keep saying it's time for another Christmas in Mexico (something we've done a few times), knowing maybe I'd be pregnant or with a newborn if this next cycle works (I still haven't told them anything).

Sigh. And while I'd be ok with a negative outcome eventually, that doesn't mean the next 2 or 3 months won't just utterly suck.

Oh, and my neck x-rays came back normal. They didn't do all the views the doctor wanted, even though I asked the tech, but...whatever. If there really is something that would show on those views, the doctor said it would be minimal given that the other views were fine.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Long time. Off this week for February break and expected good things in terms f working out but... Something always comes up. This time it was an RA flare in my neck and two toe joints. So yeah no running. It was better today, no prednisone or Vicodin but I still didn't make it to work out. I have had some good runs lately including a 5.5 miler that felt great although a repeat hasn't been attempted. I picked up some old issues of Runner's World trying to get inspiration back. Eh... Not yet. I do understand that there's a lot going on for me right now and am generally way more understanding of myself than i used I be with less of the guilt that I am just being a slacker. That is largely due to accepting that I am one though. I just don't have the focus or goals I used to and apparently don't want them that badly. That does make me sad.

In IVF news I got my period after a 42 day cycle and tentatively have my endometrial biopsy March 6. Then I would start stims that cycle mid march.

I got neck X-rays yesterday. My rheumatologist wanted them in June but I put it off because I didn't want anyone bad news and I didn't want to be in any more doctors' offices. Assume they will call me with results this week. Don't expect anything bad but I know it will show erosions. All the crunching I hear is the same I had in my wrists and ankle and they are damaged so.... No surprises but I guess good to have a baseline.