...Always have. Tonight was our end of season basketball banquet, and this was my last year coaching. I'm done. It was wonderful, fun, I did a good job...then it became a chore. And I feel awful for not giving the girls more of myself this year, and that culminated tonight into not even attempting to give any sort of inspirational speech. (I usually at least attempt.) I think I do stuff like that to sabotage myself...so I don't miss the old things too much. At any rate, I feel crappy right now, even though I know I don't want to coach any more, I guess I just wish I did want to. I wish I was the kind of person who could inspire in the girls what others have inspired in me. But I am not a talker...never have been. And the fact that I couldn't really play with them this year meant I couldn't inspire by doing either. I just felt kind of useless. Maybe I'm making too much out of it. But I wasn't the kind of coach I wanted to be. So I am done. I am selfish. And I guess that's ok. Sort of.
Oh yeah...and I rode outside today, 12 miles only but on the "new" bike and it was awesome.