Saturday, February 09, 2008

I'm just happy to be able to run.

Did that 12-miler. It rocked. Took it slowish, I think a 9:30 pace, and took a 10-second walk break every 10 minutes. Never really did that before, even though many coaches recommend it for people like me (middle-of-the-packer). It helped immensely...mentally maybe more than anything. Instead of running for almost 2 hours, I felt like I was running for 10 minutes (but 12 me, it's different). Nice.

Went to the Runner's Roost today to check out their winter sale with Bea, got a cool shirt and a pair of capris. Bea was commenting on some feature in her iPod that tells her her pace, said she was running recently and it said her pace was 9:03 min/mi. That motivated her to run faster, and she said I should get this. My immediate reaction was no. Maybe my need to run faster, better, isn't there so much any more. I told her, "Right now, I'm just happy to be able to run at all. My perspective has changed." I don't know how true that really is...I do want to be faster. I'm running a 20k tomorrow (cold...) and I DO want to be faster...I want to run under an 8:40 pace (ok, 8:30). I won't be disappointed if I don't. Basically, I want to run comfortably hard, not uncomfortably hard. Mentally I'm not there. This is where I get this an excuse for not working harder, or is it OK to be content with what I've accomplished? At what point is it OK to say, "This is enough. I am content. I don't need more just to have more. I just need to be happy."??

At any rate, it is true. I AM happy just to be able to run, pain free (except for that nagging glute pain!). I don't want to lose that by making every run a goal, a time, a challenge. Sometimes a run is just a run. A way to be alive.

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