I'm just happy to be able to run.

Did that 12-miler. It rocked. Took it slowish, I think a 9:30 pace, and took a 10-second walk break every 10 minutes. Never really did that before, even though many coaches recommend it for people like me (middle-of-the-packer). It helped immensely...mentally maybe more than anything. Instead of running for almost 2 hours, I felt like I was running for 10 minutes (but 12 times...trust me, it's different). Nice.

Went to the Runner's Roost today to check out their winter sale with Bea, got a cool shirt and a pair of capris. Bea was commenting on some feature in her iPod that tells her her pace, said she was running recently and it said her pace was 9:03 min/mi. That motivated her to run faster, and she said I should get this. My immediate reaction was no. Maybe my need to run faster, better, isn't there so much any more. I told her, "Right now, I'm just happy to be able to run at all. My perspective has changed." I don't know how true that really is...I do want to be faster. I'm running a 20k tomorrow (cold...) and I DO want to be faster...I want to run under an 8:40 pace (ok, 8:30). I won't be disappointed if I don't. Basically, I want to run comfortably hard, not uncomfortably hard. Mentally I'm not there. This is where I get stuck...is this an excuse for not working harder, or is it OK to be content with what I've accomplished? At what point is it OK to say, "This is enough. I am content. I don't need more just to have more. I just need to be happy."??

At any rate, it is true. I AM happy just to be able to run, pain free (except for that nagging glute pain!). I don't want to lose that by making every run a goal, a time, a challenge. Sometimes a run is just a run. A way to be alive.