Saturday, March 07, 2009

Settling in and eating like crap

First week was a success. The second day was the hardest, as I had major guilt Tuesday night. But it's all been smooth. My mom just adores Andra (and vice versa it seems) and really seems to have the same instincts as I (probably no coincidence there). Andra figured out the bottle, I've been able to pump almost enough for the 2 bottles she takes while I'm gone (and should have enough starting Monday), she seems to be on a schedule of taking a 3 hour nap every late morning, and bedtime is becoming more consistent. I managed quick workouts (core class Tuesday, 3 quicker (2 at 8:00) miles Wednesday, off Thursday, lifting Friday. That's been possible this week because classes ended earlier and I could do that and still get home by 3. Next week the normal schedule will be back, and I'll have to figure that out.

The whole weight thing is bothering me. I weigh now what I did when I was 5 months pregnant. And it's completely because I am not paying any attention to what I eat. Or how much. And it doesn't help that 2 kids brought me homemade cookies last week, and the girl scout cookies were delivered. I don't FEEL fat...most of my clothes fit (except a few pants that barely fit when I was at my thinnest, and some tighter shirts that the boobs don't fit into...guess they ARE a little bigger). I have been doing a lot of lifting and I know I am STRONG right now. I just wish I cared enough about my eating. I keep having these deadlines of, I'll eat better when I go back to school (not so far), when my mom leaves, when the weather is warmer and I can be running outside more (I don't like taking Andra out when it's in the 30s) and more consistent in my workouts, when I stop breastfeeding (June maybe? 6 months?). Excuses all of them. I just don't WANT to focus on that, I guess. Which is ok, but I also don't want to go all the way back to where I was 3 years ago when I didn't work out much or eat well. And I'm half way there, so it's a little disconcerting. It takes such a dedication, especially when my husband and I don't like to eat the same way. He just declared that he didn't like chicken any more, and that the way we cook is too bland. He likes lots of olive oil on his vegetables, I like steamed. But if he cooks (and especially these days I just can't be bothered), he cooks his way. And I just eat.

Anyway, it's on my mind but not enough yet to take action. I just hope I do something before the scale goes back over 160. And at 155, it's getting close.

Planning to run 7-8 miles tomorrow...temps in the 50s, and I think I committed to running a half marathon in Central Park with a friend at the end of April. So my 5 mile "long" runs aren't exactly going to cut it! Although I won't be worrying at all about my time since I haven't exactly trained. But I need a swift kick in the ass, so hopefully this will be it.


Natalie D said...

Hey... be easy on yourself!! I am in the same place where my weight just never went down from what it was, but all my clothes fit and I just don't care. I thought with the breastfeeding we'd be below our starting weights, but not so much, huh?

I was thinking of doing 6 months too. Maybe at that point we'll lose the weight? Go with the flow and keep up the exercise and try not to worry about it! But.. I feel the same.

The half in April will be a great way to get you to keep up your mileage. THat's fantastic!

Glad the first week went well!

Mama Simmons said...

Forget about gaining/losing weight. But cut out the crap. Don't worry about oil on your veggies, but don't eat brownies and ice cream and cookies and that stuff. Try it for 3 days (no crap!) and see how much better you will physically feel. It's amazing really, how much energy and motivation you will have when you don't fuel yourself with sugary foods. Try it! :)

X-Country2 said...

Take it easy on yourself. You'll get back to where you want to be physically soon. Right now, you're going through some major life adjustments, and that take priority.

DC Running Mama said...

I hear you, sister. I have been eating CRAP lately...and my pants are getting tight again, so I gotta stop. Chocolate chips by the handful is NOT a good idea. And...for my race today...I went out and bought soy nut butter and I think I ate about 1/2 of it in two days. Ug. I'm back on the wagon as of tomorrow as all the chocolate chips are gone!! Now...if I can resist the soy nut butter (they didn't have the PB that I love).

Angela and David Kidd said...

My husband just told me I'm not allowed to buy chocolate anymore because we've been eating entirely too much of it. I have been using the breastfeeding as an excuse to eat whatever I want and we are trying to make changes to eat healthier again. I hear ya, it's not easy (or fun!).