I thought I was not into shoes...

Cleaning up around the house today I realized that I have 5 pairs of the same Brooks running shoes (plus 1 Saucony I currently wear due to their excess cushioning). One pair is brand new in the box waiting for the first post-baby run, one pair was in the basement long past useable, and 3 were in the front entryway...one still useable for running/working out, the other 2 probably way past their prime. I managed to scrounge up an additional 2 pairs of sneakers and all are currently awaiting recycling when our local shoe store collects them.

Post Turkey Trot Waddling

I did the 5mile Turkey Trot this morning! I had one friend who didn't bail, and she picked me up at 7 and off we went. The weather was good, probably 40ish, so perfect for tights and a fleece for those of us planning a slow jog. We somehow missed the bagpipe parade down to the start (which was so awesome last year!), but once the race started we passed the pipe band and it was a good beginning. About 5000 runners do this race, so even at the back I had plenty of company. My only goal, which was completely negotiable, was to go under an hour, or a 12-minute pace. The first mile was 11:40 (crowded start) and it got better every mile after that! I think my watch said 53:30ish at the end (update: chip time was 53:24, which was a 10:41 pace), which is under an 11-minute pace! I didn't walk at all except for a quick water stop. Of course, I barely broke a sweat and wasn't breathing hard at all, but my legs did start to feel it after only 2 miles. Getting out of the car at home half an hour later was a different story though, and I think I'll be waddling all day. My hip flexors and all kinds of things around there are...not sore really, but tired and maybe loose? I suppose I should stretch. At any rate, I am proud to have done it, but I wish I had the motivation to do this stuff on my own right now. But it won't be long...

Frustrated and whiny

I thought the kid was supposed to move less as she grew bigger. The last 24+ hours, I don't think she has stopped. Whether I'm standing, sitting, walking, lying down, or sleeping (she woke me up last night) there is constant rolling and kicking and punching and 80's style head-spinning break-dancing on my cervix. I'm trying not to complain, but - well, I'm complaining. When it's just for a little while, it's cool. When it's nonstop, it's uncomfortable, creepy, and makes me kind of nauseous.

Went to the doctor today, no change to my cervix since last week. Although he did say that if it's even possible, he thinks she's lower than she has been. I was measuring 31 cm, which is small for 36+ weeks, but given her location that seemed normal. He'll do another ultrasound next Thursday to check her growth, unless she makes it easy on us and we can just plop her on the scale. Although I'm thinking that she's dong everything she can to get out, and that it's me and my body that isn't in any rush (which is fine, probably best, for a few more days).

Sunday is 37 weeks. Even though the doctor keeps saying he'd bet me money she'll be out early, the longer this goes on the less inclined I am to believe him. I hate not knowing. I'm still hoping for 38 weeks, no more, no less. (Well, a little less is ok.) I'm not that uncomfortable by any means, and I even came around to liking my pregnant belly (it's kind of cute with the right outfit). But I've never, ever been good at waiting around for transitions...enough already, let's just get on with it.

I have temporarily abandoned working out (minus a possible turkey waddle tomorrow morning) and I'm trying to figure out why. Much of it is because I can't do what, or as much, as I want to do, and that's frustrating. I know rationally that whatever I can do is so much better than doing nothing, yet when push comes to shove, I end up on the couch, bored out of my mind, with an aching back. Not good choices, so what's my problem?? And I think enough of that has lead me to just tell myself I'll change (or change back) once she's out and I can do my own workouts again. And I think that not going to the boot camp and core classes, and to a lesser extent spinning, I've gotten kind of lonely in my workouts. I like the camaraderie, wanting to show off, being shown up by others (all in good fun)...I miss the people in those classes who push me. I feel like an outsider right now, which sucks.

And I've been eating like crap. Breakfast and lunch are fine, but by the time dinner rolls around, there is no dinner. There's been cheesecake (last night's dinner, which lead me to feel pretty nauseous the rest of the night), and peanut butter M&Ms (tonight's, a result of a trip to Target to stock up on cat litter). Tomorrow won't be much better, as the big holiday meal will throw off any semblance of a normal eating schedule. I think I just want my control back. And it doesn't help that I could have it now, if I just wasn't so whiny.

Just a laugh

Today my sister in law had a pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving for friends, and among those in attendance were a woman 5 months pregnant with twins, and her 5 year old son. We'd been saying earlier how kids just have no filters, they say what they see. So at the end of the night as they were leaving, I stood up, and the kid took one look at my belly and said, "Wow, you ate a lot!"

Thankfully I'm over my "I don't look pregnant, just fat" stage, because it was one of the funniest things ever. When his mom told him no, I was pregnant just like her, he seemed to buy it...

I Ran 2 Miles!

I had sort of given up on working out, but this morning decided to go to the gym. I planned to walk on the treadmill, but listening to the songs on my iPod that I used to run to, I couldn't help it. I kept it slow (11 min miles) and barely broke a sweat, but I did it and it felt good! Some more pressure on my bladder and cervix than before (no surprise, as the kid is estimated about 6.5 pounds at this point, 36 weeks tomorrow), and I think even with the support belt, I have and will have some sore ligaments tomorrow. I expect my shin muscles to hurt (they always do when I take some time off and start back up again), and maybe some other leg muscles just from underuse, but in general it felt good and I'm game to try again tomorrow or Monday! The 5 mile Turkey Trot is still a possibility...

On Why I Don't Look 8 1/2 Months Pregnant...

Went to the doctor today, I'm 1.5 cm dilated and "if she was any lower, she'd be talking to us." So I think that means 100% effaced (and have been for a while). The doctor asked me, randomly, "So do people ask you why you don't look very pregnant this late in the game?" Me: "Uh, yeah, some do." Him: "Do you tell them that half the baby is in your vagina?" Me: "Uh, I'm usually not that blunt, but..."

It was actually very funny, though I think it loses something in translation.

School

I met after school today with a kid and his mom, about the kid's grade. Mom was making the rounds to all the teachers. The kid was helping her keep us straight, and she joked that he told her, "Ok, the English teacher is the who looks pregnant but isn't, and the science teacher is the one who is pregnant but doesn't look it." Well, turns out the English teacher IS pregnant (4 months) and just told the students, but still...funny. Is it wrong to take pleasure in that, even though it's a lot of dumb luck that my kid is low and the belly small? At the same time, 3 teachers I never see commented today on my looking pregnant (but they were surprised to hear I'm due in a month).

I'm scrambling trying to get a big project done with the kids that no sub will be able to finish for me (it involves computers and our unreliable wireless network and server and it a big pain in the ass) before Thanksgiving. I figure I'm good til at LEAST then. But I've left day-by-day plans accessible just in case. After that, I don't care so much...the other Earth science teachers (whom I helped to learn our curriculum when they were new) are going to have to help the sub along. I just want to make it til December...a week in would be nice, 38 weeks...eager to find out Thursday if I've dilated any more, I'd say it's likely as I've felt a little different, but certainly nothing like regular or painful contractions.

Better pics

These are slightly more flattering than my self-taken webcam shots.

Thanks, Melissa!

35 weeks and lots of contractions

Went to the gym today, first time since Tuesday (when I did a 3 mile walk with a little tiny bit of running). Did 2 miles on the elliptical, and lifted just enough to remember how to do it! Nothing major, but better than the previous 4 days of nothing. Guess my motivation is waning. This morning before the gym I was on the couch reading, and noticed I was having BH contractions all the time...like, all the time. Still not painful or anything, just frequent. Fred and I went shoe shopping (no, not something my husband would normally be caught dead doing, but he needed some) after the gym, and honestly I just didn't want to be walking around. So I've been back on the couch since. Which isn't so good for my back. Geez, I sound pregnant. I FEEL pregnant. I even LOOK pregnant! But at 35 weeks, I guess it's about time.


Tomorrow is November 17th...a while back I posted about having a dream that the kid was born (speedily and painlessly!) on "the 17th." So tomorrow I might be a little nervous. I'm starting to count on having her here within 3 weeks...I hope that doesn't jinx me to be a 42 weeker...

I just ate a salad for dinner ONLY because I know we have Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia (frozen yogurt, though) in the freezer. I wanted to skip dinner altogether and just have the fro yo, but...I still have some self control.

Oh, and Friday night I had a baby shower. It was weird...my mom's friends threw it, but they are all in Michigan, and I'm here. So there were about 10 people at her house, and 4 at mine, and we used Skype to hang out and they watched me open presents. Strange, but nice. We got some cute things (admittedly, most I had opened before Friday, as they'd been coming in the mail for 2 weeks), and some $$ and gift cards so we can go out and buy the expensive car seat. But the best gift? This:

She wants out...

So I appear to have a very active and eager kid. I had my weekly appointment today. I asked if it was really necessary to hook me up for a non-stress test AGAIN since I'm almost 35 weeks AND my insurance company apparently makes me pay co-pays for them (all previous OB visits have been free). I said, "I can tell you that the contractions are the same as they're been for the past month you've been monitoring them, and the kid is more active and strong every day." The doctor (whom I like) said OK, and at this point since I'm past when they'd give steroids for the lungs or really even try to stop labor, and I just got the usual cervix check. I've started to dilate slightly, and he said usually when babies are as low as mine is, the cervix is already 8-9cm! He told me to have my bag packed and not to go more than half an hour away from the hospital. He said he would absolutely put money on her coming well before her due date. That will change Thanksgiving plans...of course, she might be here by then which would change them anyway! But again he said my labor should go very fast, and "there probably won't be time for an epidural." Which is fine (as long as it really is quick!). Although I don't want to get my hopes up!

He did say again not to run until after 36 weeks, but at that point I could "go crazy." The Turkey Trot 5 miler is on Thanksgiving (I'll be 36 weeks, 4 days) and I still entertain thoughts of doing it. I went for a 3 mile walk Sunday and again on Tuesday, and Tuesday I did do a couple 2 minute jogs just to see. Felt great (although my shin muscles were sore the next day). So we'll see. Although I think I finally have to admit it: I feel pregnant. Back in June I posted about how I felt lucky that the first 3 months were easy, and that if I got 4 or 5 months in without really feeling pregnant, I'd be happy. Turns out I got more like 7-8 months.

So for those of you who've had babies...how weird is it the first day or 2 when they're not INSIDE you any more? As weird as it is, I kind of like all the hiccups and kung-fu going on,and it seems like I'll feel like my insides are so EMPTY after she comes out!

Pregnancy and RA

So I thought I'd do a quick post about RA and pregnancy, as this blog originally started out to be more about RA. I know there are a couple readers who have RA too, and the more positive info one can find out there the better!

I've been on Enbrel and Plaquenil for a few years. Enbrel is like magic. Although I have some residual wrist damage from pre-Enbrel days (I probably have a 40-degree range of motion or so, they just don't bend beyond that!), except for an occasional (every 6 months or more) flare, I feel great. The Plaquenil (strangely, an anti-malarial) was added a year ago after a flare that involved one ankle. My rheumatologist cleared me to stay on both the medications. He had me go off the small dose of prednisone (which I had though was the safest of all the meds) due to a minor, possible connection between higher doses of that and cleft lips/palates in the fetus. I also registered with a group in California that is studying the effects of lots of drugs on pregnancy, OTIS, in my case joining the one that studies Enbrel's effects: www.raandpregnancy.org. Basically they call me up every couple months and I answer some questions, then within a year of the kid's birth, they send a pediatrician out to take non-invasive measurements of the head, abdomen, etc. They're always very willing to answer questions about what they've found, which so far has been positive...as in, there's no found risk to the fetus. RA will often improve in pregnancy, but since I was pretty "improved" going in, had I gone off the medications I surely would have had a decline. And with flares common 1-3 months after giving birth, I really didn't want to be stuck in a situation where I couldn't walk, couldn't pick the kid up, change a diaper, etc. So it made sense to me to stay on the meds, and from the looks of things the kid is completely unaffected. I'm sure it's always a tough decision to weigh the pros and cons of being on medication during pregnancy, but in my case the risk was minimal to non-existent, and the benefits literally life-changing.

Anyone with RA reading this, feel free to ask questions!!

I'm going to do a kid update in a new post...

All clear

At school this week some girls I had in class 2 and 3 years ago saw me in the hall and in the way only teenage girls can, squealed "Oh my god, you're pregnant!" It's actually been kind of funny, often kids I've had in the past (I teach all freshmen) will see me in the hall, and although some still say hi, most pretend not to know who I am (even the ones who genuinely liked me when I was their teacher!). Lately, a lot more are "remembering" me and even starting conversations, usually about my being pregnant. Nice as that is, now the trouble is I have to try to remember their names...

Went to the doctor today, everything is still the same, had an ultrasound and the kid is estimated to be int he 67th % at weighing around 5.5 pounds. That's a little weird...I mean, that's like...baby sized or something. I also got a read on her position, so when I sit here watching my entire belly move, I can with more certainly distinguish the butt from the feet, from the hands (which are the things that are tickling my right hip bone...weird!).

And the doctor seems satisfied that we're out of the woods. "I'm not an alarmist," he said. And, "You can relax now...just don't go crazy." I was thinking, "No, YOU can relax, I've been relaxed!" So, since I had my stuff in the car just in case, I went right to the gym. I'd done 3 miles on the elliptical Tuesday and lifted a little. Today I did 2 miles on the elliptical (under a 9:30 pace, though I don't know if that's really at all comparable to the treadmill...felt way easier) and then 1 mile on the treadmill. I ran .25 miles, twice. Running still feels normal and good. Still, I didn't want to push it. But I did want to know that I could still do it. I suspect that I will start re-incorporating a little bit, in short increments (oooh, maybe I'll run a whole mile again before giving birth!), as long as it still feels fine. I guess I am/was a little worried, but...well, a couple more weeks and there'll be no reason not to do as much as I want. Except the closer it gets (6 weeks and 2 days til due date!), the more I'm thinking I'm in no hurry...

33 Week Belly, and Musings About the Belly Button

A 14-week picture, for comparison.

As I'm typing, the kid is doing a jig inside my uterus. I think I can tell the difference between her butt and her legs but that's about it. When I put my hand on my belly I can sometimes tell for SURE that it's limbs moving around...they just feel long, narrow, and strong!! But usually I feel kind of disoriented, and I wish I knew what she was up to in there.

So I have this aversion to belly buttons. They gross me out. I dread having mine turn into an outie. So far so good, though it's definitely become flatter and more stretched out. I hope I can deal with the whole umbilical-cord-falling-off thing.

Did 2 miles (24 minutes) on the elliptical today, and then some squats and other things for my legs. All in all, an hour or so of working out. So I think I'm back to a routine I'm comfortable with, that even makes me sweat a little, and I should be sore tomorrow as an added bonus!

And I'm back to just expecting her to come around her due date, because if I get my hopes up that she's a little early (like Thanksgiving...which is in 4 weeks!), I'm bound to still be pregnant in January. (And if the kid is like me, she'll want to stick it to the doctor and prove that he was wrong and we knew what was going on the whole time. Uh-oh, I could be in for trouble with this one...)