New Belly Picture

I went to the gym tonight to run and lift. There have been no classes this week or last due to routine maintenance, so I've been lifting more on my own which has been good. I saw a super nice guy there that I chat with now and then, as we seem to be on the same random schedule and see each other a lot. He asked how I was handling the no class situation, and I figured that was my opportunity to see if he had noticed how fat/pregnant I'd become. "Actually," I said, "it came at a good time. I'm almost 6 months pregnant, and I'm starting to slow down a little." His reaction was funny. "Who's pregnant? What? You're 6 months pregnant?" So even though to people who know I do in fact look pregnant now, I guess I don't look too different in baggy gym clothes to people who don't know. Even though, in those baggy clothes, I feel and look so different from how I used to, and how I still perceive myself. Tuesday when I was lifting, was one of the only times I remember that lifting did NOT make me feel really good about my body. I ignored it mostly, because what can I do?

After I showered I put on some yoga pants and a shirt...that now is way too short:


So this is 23 weeks, 4 days, but at the END of the day. Not that there's much difference at this point. I do feel more pregnant now though. Kind of like there's a water balloon inside me, which probably isn't entirely inaccurate. Ab work is getting a little harder. It will be interesting to see next Tuesday at the core class how I do with that. I may be starting to make some modifications soon! And Boot Camp...well, I want to keep doing that at least 2 more times, at which point I'll be 26 weeks and in the third trimester, and probably will be OK if I have to give that up. I also finally ordered the Gabrialla band figuring it won't be too long before I'll need it, as I already feel a little...different...while running. Not sure how to explain, except to go back to the water balloon analogy. Everything else still feels good though! And I've started to really gain weight...I tend to go up about 2 pounds one week, then stay about the same, then go up another 2, etc. Still hoping for 20-25, I'm up about 11 so far (9 last week, this is a 2-pound week already!) at almost 24 weeks. I figure there's no way much of that is fat though. Some must be, because when I was working my biceps Tuesday I noticed that the vein I used to be able to see (which thrilled me, I admit) isn't there anymore. Oh well...

This would never happen with regular pants...

Last week I had to find footed PJs for my almost one-year-old niece, Iris. I found some cute ones at Baby Gap, and as they were the ONLY ones I found, I bought them. I also found two pairs of maternity pants I actually liked (as much as one can), on sale, for $6.97. I had previously bought a pair of Gap maternity pants for $12.97, I thought in a lighter khaki color. No brainer - I bought the darker ones, didn't even to bother trying them on (there's another story there, about when I DID try on the initial pair...). Today I go to do laundry, and decide it's time to wash some of the maternity stuff because I went back to school today and, well, I am showing now. (Picture soon.) Turns out, I have two pairs of the EXACT SAME pants. Excuse me, but FUCK!!!! Maternity pants suck. I would never pay $50.00 for ugly pants. The fact that I found some I liked that cost less than $7.00 but then BOUGHT THE SAME ONES TWICE...it is incredibly disappointing.

Anyone a pregnant size 6? They're yours if you want them...

23 Weeks

Last night the kid was SUPER squirmy, and she's getting strong! At some point around 2am I woke up and felt kicks near my belly button. Up to this point she's been really low, so it's weird to feel stuff that high. I got up to pee, and maybe gravity pulled her back down because she went right back (I can feel and see this hard bump where she is when she's low).

This past week I ran 19.5 miles in 4 days, rode twice and lifted three times. I can still keep just under a 10 min/mile pace without feeling like I'm working too hard, so I'm hopeful that the 10k in a few weeks will still be under an hour. But it is a month away I guess. At any rate, I can't complain about where I am and how I feel, it's been different and easier and a lot less scary than I anticipated pregnancy to be. I'm pretty confident that I'll be back in shape fairly quickly come spring. My goal (better to admit it, maybe I'll feel held more accountable) is to eventually (maybe by September when I want a new half marathon PR) end up about 10 pounds lighter than where I started this pregnancy (about 6-7 pounds lighter than my all-time low 2 years ago). And I want to improve my biceps...I had serious bicep envy a the diner yesterday with Fred when I saw a woman in her 40s with a school-aged kid with killer biceps. It's a product of the area I live in (rich, white, shamelessly superficial) that there are a lot of really fit women, and now especially when I see one with a kid, I gain a little confidence that I can do that too. (The rich part, not so much.)

One of my runs this week was without my ankle brace, because I had a scab on my Achilles' from wearing it with low socks a few days before. It was ok...I noticed that it wasn't there, but the ankle didn't hurt. Felt a little weak maybe. I'd have to say the RA has not given me anything to complain about (or even notice) beyond the usual sore wrists (due to past bone damage rather than active disease) after lifting.

Teachers go back to school tomorrow...I always go into this with mixed feelings, as by this point in the summer I am bored and feeling like I don't accomplish anything during the day, yet - well, I have to go back to work.

Runner's Legs??

Clarification for those who can't see the leg in this picture: In the middle is the knee (with a big blob on top??), below that is the femur (attached to a skinny butt), and the 2 white bones to the right are the tibia and fibula. Attached to a foot pointing up. This is from last Thursday, 21 weeks 4 days.

Still...

Did a little over 6 miles today. Started out well, first 3 miles under a 10:00 pace, then my legs started feeling heavy again, a little sore. OK, so I walked more, it was still 6 miles and it was beautiful out so that's good. I've been running much more than the new "usual" lately so it makes sense. Had a really good stretch and roll on the foam roller after...heaven.

The kid's kicks are strong enough now that when the laptop is on my lap, the whole thing moves if she hits it right. Very amusing.

I'm not worried about having the kid here...she's going to be awesome. I'm not worried about my lifestyle changing when I have the kid...it will, but still. What I'm worried about is that I will change after the kid. I won't want to run...I won't care about working out...it'll be too easy to find something more important to do. Clearly the fear of loss of identity is a common theme in the other pregnant runners' blogs I read...which is a comfort. But it's a worthy fear...who am I if I don't WANT to run anymore? It probably won't happen. Still...

I am so not touchy-feely...

Another fabulous 5 miles today, this time outside. A 10-minute pace, with allowances to walk up the 3 short but steep hills. I probably don't need to walk those (or all of them anyway) but then again, I guess I don't need to NOT walk them either. Weird mental stuff, this pregnancy thing.

Fred and I went to the bookstore last night and I flipped through a couple women's running books and one on fitness in pregnancy. For what they are, they're ok...but I'm sick of all this touchy-feely shit about how you're "blossoming" and you're "nurturing a new life" so it's ok to be lazy. (I'm not saying pregnancy doesn't change things...obviously it does, as my own less-competitive attitude shows, but that's no reason to become a wimp or a whiner.) I've had an easy pregnancy so I'm not as sympathetic as I might be, but I think there's a difference between taking it easy because you're nauseous and fatigued, and taking it easy because you're afraid to hurt the baby or something. If fitness was a part of your self-definition before you got pregnant, why on Earth if you're healthy wouldn't you keep it up??? I know plenty of people who will relate to this and plenty more (who will never read this) who think trying to stay fit while pregnant is somehow selfish. As if getting fat and lazy is somehow more beneficial to the kid inside. Anyway, at the bookstore I was wishing there was a more hard-assed approach to fitness in pregnancy, a book where the author said, "Look. You're not sick, you're not an invalid, and there's no reason for you to help yourself get fat here. Get off your ass and get moving. Walk, run, lift, swim, whatever, but make sure your heartrate gets up there (no more of this 140 bpm max shit) and make sure you SWEAT. No one's saying become a pregorexic, but you're an athlete, ACT LIKE ONE!" It's just so taboo to talk this way...I don't get it. There's nothing unhealthy about it if you're being healthy!!!

I guess I'm ready for a fight...I guess I'm always ready for a fight about some things...which is silly...but once I start showing (and with a 2 pound weight gain this week it can't be far away), I anticipate some comments.

It was just so great...

I went to change my clothes to go running this afternoon after the ultrasound (third time's a charm...they saw all the heart views and everything's groovy), and of course it begins to thunder. So I drive to the Y, and it begins to rain and hail. I sat in the car til the hail stopped, then went in and got on the treadmill. I was amazed...I began at the usual 10 minute mile pace, and kept going for 5 miles! I could've gone longer...should've...but I had a blister on my toe and I was half an hour late for meeting friends for dinner. I felt NORMAL! I thought about going faster but didn't want to jinx myself. I was loving it. My breathing wasn't hard, my heart rate was normal (I took it at the end only, was about 165...which when I run doesn't feel high, but when I spin, I have to work super hard to get it that high and I don't like to work that hard), my legs didn't get tired at all or feel powerless...it was just so great. I guess it won't last, but now I want to run every day until...

Gorgeous Weather

Yesterday was so beautiful out. I went for a 4 mile run before core class. I did part of the 10k course I haven't run so I'll start to learn it. I learned there are 3 possible places I'll let myself walk. Hey, at my pace, walking the steep hills isn't much slower than running them, maybe I'll add an extra 5-10 sec per mile when all's said and done. But the course is nice. I'll run the entire thing a few times in the next few weeks (yay, I'll run a whole 6 miles! It's been a LONG time!). Turns out the race is Sept. 21, a week later than I'd thought, and I'll be 27 weeks...officially a third trimester race!

The down side of yesterday's run was that I got passed. Some guy. It took all I had not to call out after him, "But I'm 5 months pregnant!"

Today was also beautiful out. I took a morning nap, went to spin, took an afternoon nap...maybe it's time for school to start! Well, only because September means I'm getting closer to December.

Short is the New Long

Yesterday Fred and I went out for a run together...he's decided to run the 10k in September as well. He hasn't run since the half back in April, so we ran about 2.5 miles together and then he headed home while I kept going for another 2. It was good running with him, because his pace is what mine is now...and he's very steady. Whereas last week when I ran this course and walked a few times, this time I ran the entire thing (10 min miles), no walking. It takes me a long time now to warm up and feel normal (probably why I cave in and walk, I still start out too fast). Around 3 miles, I realized I felt really good and strong, like I could keep going for a lot longer. (That feeling disappeared a mile or so later, of course!)

I need to understand that 4.5 miles actually does constitute a long run for me now, and that's fine. It's been a long time since I've had to train for a 10k...usually 6-7 mile runs are normal. WERE normal. Right.

In other news, when I went to the doctor last week I'd gained half a pound over the previous visit a month ago. I think things may speed up now, as a few days this week I've been 155 lbs. My weekly average yesterday (at 21 weeks) was 153, or up a total of 7 pounds. At this point, the pound a week thing sounds fine, but again, whatever happens happens. And my belly might look more pregnant than I let on...I just refuse to wear anything that makes me look pregnant, meaning I only wear looser things. I tried on a few pairs of work pants this morning, and while some (by no means all) still fit, the normal pants definitely make me look pregnant. Wider legs and drawstrings don't...so I think I'll head out to TJ Maxx this morning to see if I can find any cheap pants like that to get me through a couple months. At some point I won't mind looking pregnant, but I'm still in this weird in between stage where what I wear makes a huge difference in how I look (and feel).

UPDATE: I found 2 great pairs of yoga-type pants from Nike, one black and one brown. Both long and loose, but nice enough that I will totally wear them to school! Comfy and at least now I feel like I look pretty good in them.

Still Biking, Getting Better!

20 miles on the bike at 5 months pregnant, average speed almost 15 mph...I gotta say, not bad. Things are definitely easier in the second trimester (well, the last 3 weeks maybe), despite having a resting heartrate in the 70s (compared to in the 50s pre-preg)! I'm sure one of these days I'll start to show and then things will get uncomfortable, but right now it's really easy to forget I'm pregnant. Well, until I lie down...I was watching my belly today and I can officially see kicks...very strange but fun! My belly just pops up and down really quickly. She's still super low (way below my belly button) so watching (and feeling) requires unbuttoning my pants, not something I'd do in public, but so fun at home!

Anyone want to tell me if I look pregnant yet, or just pudgy? (This was last week, at 20 weeks.)

Not Too Slow!!

This morning was the 5k. Sarita, Clara, Jen and Jen's dad all ran with me. Beautiful day, couldn't have asked for nicer weather. At the first mile mark, a lady was standing with a watch calling out times. "7:52...7:54...7:56..." Ummm, ok, I tried to believe her, but that was just impossible. I would believe it if I weren't 20 weeks pregnant...but no way. I tried to keep up the same pace just in case, but she must've been WAY off because my final time was 29:10, for a 9:25 pace. Not bad, definitely under my 30:00 goal! It felt good. I did feel slow, but I still pushed and the effort was strong. At the end, a woman who had continually walked, then sprinted, walked, sprinted through at least the last mile (alternating passing me and being passed) tried to to outsprint me. But I hadn't NOT walked to be beaten by someone who HAD, so I made sure I outkicked her.

Oh, and then we had the BEST ice cream (the reason I picked this particular race...free ice cream at 9:30 am!)...they had a bunch of flavors, but I went with pumpkin...good choice. YUM.

September 14 is our next race...10k. If I'm going to be much slower, I at least want to LOOK pregnant by then.