One more.

Exhausted. No real reason. Slight fear in that my wrists are sore (probably from a ton of yard work I did today) and exhaustion usually precedes a flare. But could also just be anticipation of the 20 I must run alone tomorrow. Actually looking forward to it somehow. Did 10 Thursday, and even though it meant skipping Spanish class (couldn't get out of a meeting after school so it set me back an hour and a half), it was like oh, ok, gotta go run 10. No big deal. My first long run in this plan was 9, and that was a bit of a big deal at the time. When your long runs turn into your short runs, that means something. Felt good, fast, strong, confident, calm. Made me think tomorrow will be ok. Absolutely NO need to go fast (other than to get it over with), won't wear a watch. The worst part is getting started, deciding whether to set water out (I think I have to, the fuel belt is a necessary evil but won't be sufficient), and just...well, it's the whole showing up thing. The rest takes care of itself, but I have to show up. This is the last time, til the marathon.

A friend I'm getting to know better (through running, of course) has just committed to her first 5k in June. We've run together on the treadmill the last 2 Saturdays, and I've been impressed. She's just starting, but she's having fun pushing herself. I hope it sticks for her. Maybe it seems silly, but setting these goals for yourself (run for 25 minutes straight, get ass to gym 3 times a week, etc.) and accomplishing them is so satisfying. I haven't found anything besides fitness, and racing, that satisfies this need in me, this need to be disciplined and proud of myself and feeling like I am doing something to figure myself out.

Still waiting to hear if the HR guy will accept my appeal. If not, GO UNION! I've been told there's a precedent and I should get one day at least.