Winging it.

Blah. Rain canceled a planned ride this morning with Kathy, who was going to take me on the course of the 20 mile race in a couple weeks. 19 years ago she won it with some insane pace (20 miles in 54 minutes...that's fast). She has a kid now and said she'd never be so stupid as to "race" that race again, but encouraged me to do it...which I don't get except that she must know I'm in no way going to be going fast. We drove the course instead of riding it (it's super hilly and windy through backcountry Greenwich, CT and she gave me a good idea of what to expect. It sounds a lot more competitive (and scary) than I was thinking! Of course, I could just hang out at the back and ride more solo, but it sounds like if I ride even a moderately speedy pace, I'll be with a pack of people (on narrow windy roads open to traffic), not all of whom really know how to ride in a group (umm, yeah, me too). Anyway, I want to do it so that I have a baseline if I get faster next year. We'll see, it's in a couple weeks.

I'm supposed to run a 5k tonight. It's raining. I have to go anyway!!!!! Hopefully. I will not be fast, not even close to shooting for a PR even if the course is all downhill. That's mental as much as physical. I am not on any sort of routine which has led to more missed workouts than usual. I'm hopeful that I'll kick my ass back in line next week.

I am also winging it in most other aspects of my life right now. I used to be super anal about balancing the checkbook and watching money - now, even though we pay our bills every month, I'm just not into trying to figure out how to spend less and save more. Probably because it's not just up to me, but still. And cleaning? Eh. If it's good enough, it's good enough.

Definitely in a slump. Yet, in a few days I could feel totally on top of things. Just gotta ride it out!