C goal

Thank goodness for attainable C goals. At one point I thought if I trained I might be able to pull off an 8:08 pace for a 40:40 5 mile turkey trot finish (A goal). Clearly I was delusional, both about my commitment to training and about my willingness to push. Throw in the fact the the entire race was spent dodging and weaving around slower people and plenty who stopped to walk, and any hope of a "race" was doomed. But I was pleased just to run. Seriously, I thought I placed myself well in the mass start...looked like a few hundred people in front of me (3800 finishers in this race), and I could tell plenty of those people clearly belonged in the back. I felt a little badly because I knew I also should have been farther back, but what do you do in this kind of race where there are so many non-runners who place themselves right at the front despite the fact they will get in everyone's way? So I thought I made a good compromise. Anyway, when the gun went off, it took me a full minute and a half to cross the start line. There were probably a thousand people in front of me, from the looks of it. The first mile was 9:09, which surprised me as it felt much slower with no elbow room and all the weaving. Second mile was my best, 8:41, but by then I realized that not only was I not into going faster, it would've been tough even if I had been. Seriously, the race did not thin out at all along the entire course. 8:55 for mile 3, 9:03 for mile 4, and 8:52 for mile 5 just to make sure I hit that C goal of under 45 minutes. 44:41 chip time, which is an 8:56 pace. I got what I paid for...I didn't put in the training to do better, and I'm ok with that. It wasn't the most pleasant race ever, I did feel like I was working a bit. Weirdly, my body felt heavy and stiff while my lungs and breathing weren't labored at all. I wish I had been wearing a heart rate monitor, I need to find mine! Haven't used it since being pregnant...not sure why. Anyway, I think I haven't been doing enough road running and treadmill running is (obviously) easier (especially when I refuse to add incline to make up for that). So, I'm going to relax a bit until January and hope at that point I have the motivation to get ready for a half. I honestly don't think I'm going to worry about doing a FAST half (which for me would be near my 1:53 PR, even under 2 would be fast), just under a 10 minute pace. I don't need the pressure of a time goal, I need the desire and motivation to just have fun with it.

Two weeks til Pickle's birthday. Two weeks and two days til her surgery. Found out I have to take her for bloodwork late next week and the pediatrician said it would be traumatizing. I guess they take the blood from the arm just like adults, and I can only imagine that strapping her arm (or her?) down will NOT be fun. Truthfully, I'm more stressed out about this than tha actual surgery.

Maintenance Miles

I'm still not training for anything (other than this Thursday's 5 mile Turkey Trot, and "training" was a loose word) but I need be more consistent. With the time change and it being dark before 4:30 (with another month of shortening days yet) I've had a tough time working out more than 4 days a week. Two days (Tuesday and Saturday) are classes at the gym, so they're easy not to miss. Once a week I'm pretty good at working out during lunch, and usually I can manage once right after school. Sometimes a walk = a workout.

I keep toying with the idea of walking up early to work out after school, and even set my alarm this morning, but now, without a training plan or goal, I am kidding myself if I think it's going to happen. (It didn't, this morning.) So I'm going to try to get back to 5 days a week. I need to get in more running days (3-4) and make then short...hence the Maintenance Miles. I went today at lunch and told myself "Just 30 minutes." Easy, quick way to get in 3.5 miles or so. No excuses not to do that twice a week at school, one longer day outside, and...gulp...the Sunday long runs need to happen once I commit to a half in the spring.

I think January will see me getting out on Sundays again. Before then...not so sure. This weekend I found out a couple friends want to do a half too...and theoretically say they will get together Sundays, or even every other Sunday, to do long runs together. One I believe, the others, I am not so sure. One is my speed, the others a bit slower, but I DON'T CARE. If they will show up, I will run with them. Because I don't have the drive to do it myself. Especially not in winter!

We're moving...

Crawling, that is. Andra started a couple weeks ago and right now is the first time she's crawled away to go explore on her own. Naturally, she went into the cat's room (the sun room). She is happily playing with the catnip toys as Pokey watches safely out of reach on the couch.

I was moving too...ran at lunch today. I almost couldn't, when I got to the fitness center there was a gym class about to go in, but when I asked the teacher if I had any chance of getting one, she kept the class outside until I changed and ran in to claim one! I didn't even stop to pee for fear of not getting the treadmill so that kind of sucked, but beat not running at all since I actually had the motivation today. All the kids would have done is walk, and there are tons of stationary bikes for them to pretend to work out on, and only 3 treadmills. So I was happy!

We're going to see the Michael Jackson movie tonight, and then out for a quick bite to eat. This is the first time someone other than Fred or me will put Andra to bed. She will be fine and it's time, but I will worry! The babysitter is a former student, now a senior and she's taking AP child development (who knew there was such an AP course) so she's well qualified!

(update...of course they had a fabulous time, as did we!)

Hemangioma musings...

Just a little fall picture. This shows how big her hemangioma is. I really don't even notice it anymore, but every now and then I'm like, wow, that's big! I try to see, when we're out, if I notice people looking at her. They do. But then, when I put a hat on her and the H is covered up, they also look (presumably because she's JUST THAT CUTE). So since people look regardless, it's become no big deal. Except when kids say something. Now kids are kids, but man can they be tactless. So, I am glad we are having it removed. Except I really do think she's going to look...different. Sigh.

Pleasant...

Had a pleasant run yesterday after school in great warm temps. Ran from school, almost 5 miles of a route I ran once or twice in the spring. It's nice to be at the point where, when I remember good runs from the past, not all of those runs are from pre-baby days! I ran a little under a 9 min/mi pace, felt great. Ankle was bad Saturday (bad enough that I opted out of some of the jumping stuff in boot camp) but a little extra naproxen and it has been fine since. Go figure.

So I don't do long runs anymore. Everything I run is 4-6 miles. Which is fine since I'm not training for anything, but I'm going to have to figure out how to do them again if I want to do a spring half.

Ankle again

Andra's back in full swing...happy again (we had a fussy couple of days, highly unusual), crawling like a champ, and getting much better at standing without falling over (for a couple seconds at least!). We just found out the insurance company WILL pay for her hemangioma surgery (well, 80% of it since the doctor is out of network) which is now scheduled for December 16, 4 days after her birthday. I bought her a strawberry hair clip off of etsy for post-surgery, because I think she will look really different without the hemangioma and it will take me some time to get used to her without a big red thing on her head! So the clip will be a transition object for me!

My ankle has been a pain in the ass lately. For the past 3 weeks or so it's been bothersome. Not enough to stop my running of course. But it does hurt. It's similar to one of the many ways my wrists have felt, so it's not really freaking me out, more like grossing me out. Yesterday I managed the usual 5.5 mile loop just fine, but a number of times, my ankle would randomly crunch. It was not painful, just that creepy crepitus where it sounds and feels like bones and junk crunching around in there. Icky. I have two things to do as I wait this phase of the RA out...one, I need to talk to my rheumatologist again about if I should push for the cortisone injection, and two, talk to my friend who is a massage therapist and set up a few short sessions where she will work on all the tendons and things in my left leg. She did this for my wrists/arms once and it was really amazing. And possibly after the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving I might try a couple weeks without running and see if it helps? I don't think it will though. This isn't an injury that will heal. It's a degenerative condition, and so my thought is to use it while I can! Which I anticipate being a LONG time, but still...

Does anyone else compose really eloquent, interesting blog posts in their heads while out running, and then when the time comes to actually write, it's all gone? Sigh...

Pickle!

This is a low quality cell phone picture. I am going to put better ones on later...

Plodders Need Not Apply?

What's your take on this New York Times article about slow people running marathons?

The best part is that one of the people quoted complaining about the slow people ran her marathon in 4:05...so it's not as if she's exactly in danger of winning a marathon anytime soon herself.

And as usual, the comments are more fun than the article itself...I'm slowly making my way through all 400 if I can!

(And for credit, I found the article through this blog! She somehow dug up the email addresses of two of the people quoted in the article, I wonder if anyone who reads her blog had the nerve to actually write them!)

Croup

70 degrees, planned track workout after school...and Fred calls to say Andra needs to go to the doctor. He took her while I found a sub for the rest of the day, wrote out plans for today and tomorrow, and generally kind of freaked out. Turns out she has croup. That sounded bad to me when he told me over the phone, and I didn't have time to Google it, so I expected it to be kind of bad when I got home around 10:30. But, no, same happy kid (with a drippy nose of course). I guess with croup, it's especially bad at night but tends to improve during the day. So I missed this morning's barking like a seal, but will probably get to hear it tonight. The doctor prescribed a corticosteroid to help the inflammation though, which should help.

I don't like that I don't see Andra most mornings. It's what works, in that she sleeps til 7:30 or 8 and if I got her up before I left at 7, that would mean Fred would have to get up early (not something he would like). He did really well, though, he knew something was wrong and took care of it. (I probably would've still taken her to daycare...I mean, seriously, when the kid is happy all the time I'm not sure how you're supposed to know when they're too sick).

So, no speed work today, but we'll do a BOB run. Close enough.

UPDATE: hour BOB walk with Jessica and Kate, then a late night speed workout at the gym. It was short, only 3.5 miles (1@7:18, .5@8ish and .25@7ish) because my ankle was acting up. Weird, it's never done this. Felt weak, sort of like it was going to give out when I was running hard. It cracked on its own once, which helped for about 5 seconds. It's a little annoying, I don't think it's going to be a permanent thing but I do think it's related to the crepitus issue. Gross.

Fun Run!

Had last period free today and busted out right after the bell rang, changed and drove to my favorite running loop. It's 6.25 miles (I thought it was closer to 6.5). I was seriously looking forward to this ALL DAY, and that hasn't happened in a while! Perfect weather. I ran comfortably, which was harder than usual this time. Pace was just under 9:00 miles, and that includes 3 minutes of walking a ginormous, steep hill. Similar to my 10k pace a month ago, yet this felt much easier. I'm guessing my BOB runs really are helping me.

I went after the run to pick up Andra and then to the doctor, to discuss getting a cortisone injection in my ankle. My rheumatologist doesn't like that it's been swollen and warm for 2 years now. No damage, which is great, but damage comes from inflammation, so...But the foot and ankle guy I saw (the same one I went to for my Achilles) didn't think it was such a great idea now. He said if it flares, come back, they'll do an MRI and then inject it. I tried to explain that the ankle doesn't really flare...I mean, it has once or twice, but it's a chronic thing, with a pain that is really hard to explain. He said he couldn't tell where to inject it (there are lots of places in the ankle I guess) because the swelling was minimal (I've been on a small prednisone dose for a 2 weeks, as switching to a generic drug 2 months ago caused things to just not be quite right). So...whatever. I did want to see if the injection would help the ankle feel better, but at the same time I was skeptical and so was he. The annoying thing lately is that when I'm doing lunges and bending the ankle like that, it crunches...I guess crepitus is the correct term. I think once I posted about crepitus in my wrists. That is gone now, yay, but it's really just an icky, creepy sound and feeling.

Thanks to those who said teaching is in fact a good thing to do...I don't disagree, it's just that I think anything from the outside looks better than from the inside. Honestly, I might connect in a lasting way with a couple kids a year. The rest are, by and large, really nice pains in the ass. Maybe after 9 years it's just a little stale, and I don't really want to put much more into it at the moment. I'd rather sit around and wonder what else I can be when I grow up!

The Whatifs

Every month (or quarter? not sure) I get my college's alumni magazine. I went to Williams College, which has more than its fair share of alums with impressive jobs, inspirational lives, etc. I always feel an odd twinge of something when I see it in the mailbox, and put off actually opening it until I have enough quiet time to deal with the feelings of inadequacy that come with seeing how people with the same college experience as I have done such important, "successful" things with their lives. Don't get me wrong, I really like my life, especially now that I have Andra. Yet, there's always the what ifs...(Shel Silverstein wrote a great poem about the Whatifs, I found it again here.)

What if I hadn't dropped out of grad school the first time?
What if I'd gone to law school, or vet school, instead of teaching school (ha, that sounds so lame)?
What if I hadn't taken this particular job in Connecticut?
What if I'd studied abroad in college?
What if...on and on and on....

At any rate, some days I play this game a lot. Sitting at Starbucks grading last weekend, I looked around at the clientele. I got to thinking along the lines of, what if I'd married that guy in loafers and a polo shirt with his collar turned up, probably someone in finance who comes from old money...would I then be like his wife, clearly more concerned with fashion and ordering the right coffee drink that with what is going on in the world? What if I'd gotten in with her kind of crowd (arguably hard NOT to do in this area), would I, too, care about my shoes and sweaters and give up my preferred jeans and fleece look? (Despite what that might sound like, I wasn't thinking mean thoughts about these people...it was just what if (and a nice distraction from grading)).

I guess it makes me just wonder if I'm doing enough. Sometimes I feel pretty uninspired, uninspiring on some important level. Probably something everyone feels! Even those whom I would consider the inspiring ones.

To resolve some of those issues, I've decided to "go back to college." I looked online at Williams' course catalog, hoping to find a course I wanted to take, with a plan of emailing the professor for the syllabus and reading list and just pretending I had all these assignments. I got a bit overwhelmed with the reality of that though, and opted instead to start reading some non-fiction books I'd forgotten I wanted to read. I'm almost done with my first, Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma. At the very least, I want to start THINKING again.

Found it...

I tried to find the speed workout after school yesterday (yes, Mama Simmons, we do have a track...I opted for the warmer treadmill though!). I hemmed and hawed (what does that exactly mean) and probably loked pretty funny as I went down a few stairs toward the fitness center, changed my mind and went back up, went outside, went back in...but finally I did make it to the coaches' locker room. I procrastinated a bit more talking to another teacher, then went in to change. Only to realize that I only had one shoe. I took that as fate and went home. (The other shoe was in my car, but it was too late...I wasn't going back.)

So yesterday was a wash (Andra and I went swimming instead!) but today I dutifully brought the same bag (with 2 shoes this time) back to school and went running at lunch. 4 miles total, 1 at 8:00, 2 x .5@ 7:30, 1 x .25 @ 7:00, with 10:00 pace in between it all. Quick shower, and my E period is coming in for class right now!

Where is that speed workout????

Somehow despite not paying much attention, I am firmly 1 pound above my pre-pregnancy weight. Which was also my marathon weight. So, I think I need to stop thinking in those terms and just realize that I'm back and what happens from now on is all me and has nothing to do with pregnancy or breastfeeding anymore! My belly is still a bit squishy. My abs are back, have been for a long time, it's either that my skin is still stretchy or I just have a bit more fat there still. But, the rest of me looks pretty much like before, my arms might even be better!

I keep meaning to add a weekly speed workout. I really DO want to run a fast 5 mile Turkey Trot. But...somehow that particular workout is eluding me. I've been great at 5 mile BOB runs, and have been not only enjoying them but pushing it, loving the hills, feeling it in my butt as I power up them. I've been running 3 days a week, which is pretty good and fairly normal even in my pre-baby life. Four days would be better (especially if #4 was the speed...).

I've been training a little bit with Bea and Sarita (Sarita, that's twice you've been mentioned! And yet you never comment, so this might be it unless you respond here...even anonymously!). Sarita has recently become very committed and has invited me to join her training sessions so she doesn't cheat as much. Competition is good! And it's been fun for me, I swear I do work hard when I lift by myself, yet it's nothing like being trained. Bea's good, what can I say!

I took one of Bea's spin classes Monday (no school) and it has been a LOOONG time since I spun. I miss it! But I can pretty much never take a weekday class as the early ones are too late and the evening ones are too early. Oh well! More running.

Ok, and one more thing I just noticed...Andra's name is in this blog! musclesANDRA. How weird is that???

WebMD piece is up!

And I don't think I look or sound stupid!

Click here!

BOB run

Great BOB run today. 5 miles in 47:00 (9:25 pace), plus a half mile walk home. Felt strong. It's much better running now that it's not summer.

I'm going to start doing a speedwork session every week again to prepare for a 5 miler on
Thanksgiving. Time to beat (2007) is 41:19, 8:16 pace. Would love 40:40, which would be 8:08 pace which was my 10k PR pace. I wanted 3 PRs this year post-baby, and I have 2 (5k by 3 seconds, and 4 mile). This is doable.

I say all this, but I am not super dedicated to the cause. I will accept an 8:40 or better pace. Eh. At least it's fun!

The pickle costume was too small...a bit too narrow (at least for a cloth diaper butt) and way too short to go over her head. BUT, I know what I'm doing and can whip up a better one in 15 minutes!

Running articles - good reads

Two articles my friend Sarita sent me from the New York Times...good reading.

This one is about the social aspects of marathon training.

This one is about running with the jogging stroller.

Both worth a read!!!

AND...I made a pickle costume. I had vague guidelines from this site and after much trial and error I have the basic shape, but it's possible it might be too small. No big deal if I have to start over now that I know what I'm doing. I will try it on Andra tomorrow and if it works, put on the finishing touches!

Fall running

Did a 6 miler after school yesterday in the cool fall weather! I realized 5 minutes in that I'd forgotten my iPod, but I didn't miss it at all. I ran an old route I used to love (probably for a nice long gradual downhill stretch I always feel strong in). Slower probably than usual (about a 9:45, relaxed pace) but lately I always seem to start runs consciously slow. I think it might be a fear that I can't sustain a fast pace, or that it'll hurt too much, but maybe it's good thing that I'm letting myself warm up a bit and mentally get into the run first. At any rate, I had fun and felt good.

Still waiting

WebMD piece not up, they appear to be at least one "episode" behind based on the schedule on the site. Frustrating!!! This was so long ago, it sucks to have had to wait so long and now just to wait more! Hopefully it will be worth the wait and I won't seem like a total dork.

Not much working out lately. Got strep throat again last week (just had it in August), which wiped me out. Was better by Friday, so I took Andra swimming at the Y and then tried to run 4.5 outside with her. I ran about half of it, but then between some stomach issues and my ankle, walked the other half. It was ok though. Boot camp Saturday left my glutes incredibly sore (we jump a LOT in that class, and I haven't been in a couple weeks) and my shoulders too. I have no excuse for the shoulders, if I did more push ups on my own it would totally help. Nothing Sunday (except a nap on the couch!) and today was a walk with Melissa an her 2 week-old baby Shea. Tomorrow I will get back on track!

It's nice to have no pressure in terms of working out, but that's at the expense of having no goals. A definite trade off. I need to find an early spring half marathon...

RA news

In RA news, I saw my rheumatologist Thursday and he wants me to get a cortisone injection in my ankle because of the lingering swelling. Usually I'm the one pushing for these things, but he suggested it, after I get new x-rays to see if there's any damage yet. (Weirdly, he said my x-rays 2 years ago showed some slight erosions in my right ankle...yet it's my left, and only my left, that bothers me.) It has been bugging me more lately. Running tends not to be too bad for the most part, but walking AFTER I run definitely leaves me looking and feeling like an old lady. I love my ankle brace, but I want it to squeeze even more.

Here's the best way to describe the pain (in the joint at least...there's some pain in the soft tissue too that I can't describe): it's like the ankle really really really needs a good hard jerk and twist so that it will crack. The problem is that I don't have full range of motion and so actually doing that would hurt beyond belief. Sometimes I get "lucky" and I will have a few steps of intense pain followed by a spontaneous crack that makes me smile because it feels so good (after). But I have no control over when this happens which is frustrating! Although most of the time it just feels a little swollen, but not painful. Although my doctor believes I must have a super high pain tolerance to still be running, lifting, and (he just shook his head at this one) playing soccer. It's not necessarily true...though I did give birth without an epidural, so just maybe I can tolerate pain slightly better than average.

Supposedly this Thursday I will have my WebMD piece put up, 7 months later! I will link to it then.

10k race report

Beautiful (slightly hot) weather for the 10k today. Jen came with me, and Sarita ran the 1.5 mile loop race. This race starts at 1pm, on the beach, so I got there after putting Andra down for her nap which was nice that she slept most of the time I was gone. (She's been sick, with a cold for 9+ days and a bout of real vomiting last night, though she seemed better today if uninterested in food.)

I wasn't sure what to expect, which seems to be the case a lot lately as I haven't officially been training, just kind of doing whatever I feel like. Which is ok, it just leaves me kind of unsure what my race goals should be. After my pathetic run with Natalie Sunday (I've decided to blame the talking...or rather, attempt at talking between gasping breaths...for the slow pace), I ran 3 more times last week with the BOB (Mon, Thurs and Fri) which put me at 20 miles for the week. Not bad. The BOB runs felt ok, probably because I wasn't trying to talk up the hills!

My ultimate goals for today were to run steady (something I managed to do in the 5k a few weeks ago, which felt good) and run a sub-9:00 pace. I thought I could maybe pull an 8:45 pace, but anything more didn't seem remotely possible at this point. Back in May on a pretty flat course I ran a 54:38 (8:48 pace) 10k. I didn't actually remember that until I just now looked back. At any rate, my time was approximately 54:15 today (official results say 54:23, still 8:45 pace) which would be exactly an 8:45 pace. Plus I did run reasonably steady, for a while anyway...approximate splits were 8:20, 8:25, 8:54, 8:24, 9:35, 9:14 and 1:10 for the .2 which I think adds up to 54:12, but official time will be a bit more. The course was the same as last year except backwards...for traffic reasons I think they ran the middle part (it loops) in reverse. It made for short steep downhills (the uphills I let myself walk last year 6 months pregnant) and loooong gradual uphills (which in reverse I would've sworn were flat!). I felt pretty slow towards the middle and end of the race. Not actually as slow as the 9:35 mile, but slower than an 8:45 average. I'm pleased, but just not sure why that pace felt slow. It sort of makes me want to get back on a training plan...I'm in decent shape and some focus, speedwork and upcoming cool weather could spell some results for me. But....eh....we'll see.

I'm not sure how hard I pushed. My breathing was always under control, heavy but not like a lot of people I heard. I don't think I'm ready for really pushing it. Thinking back on my 10k PR (May 2007, before I started blogging) which was an 8:08 pace, I know I did push there. Today was more relaxed. I'm not saying that if I had pushed harder I could've done better...truthfully, if I had pushed harder, I would've given up and walked. I just think that mentally I'm not where I was. Good, bad...who cares. It's just different. But I'm happy I'm out there, running reasonably fast, even if my distance isn't back where I wanted it. There's time. And I really do think I'll run more with the fall and even winter weather. I don't like the heat. And I bought the weasther shield for the BOB so Andra can come with me even once it gets cold.