Aquabike #1Tomorrow

I have my first race of the season tomorrow...Olympic distance aquabike. I will probably feel like a schmuck when I finish the bike and see everyone else keep going, but, not exactly a choice, so instead I get to go to the finish line and cheer! I went up to Quassy today to get my packet and drop off my bike. It's about an hour away, so I need to get up at 4:30 tomorrow. Great. Last night I had two (TWO) separate dreams about missing the start and forgetting really important stuff (like wetsuit and bike shoes). Hopefully that's out of my system so I'll sleep tonight.

Goals? Eh...not really. I really have no basis for judging the swim (though there were something like 12 bouys on the lake today...confusing), so my only goal is to NOT PANIC and feel comfortable. My last triathlon (2007 I think?) was basically panicking the entire half-mile and wishing I were close enough to shore to quit the whole damn thing. So anything would be an improvement. And, the aquabike wave goes last (with the older women wave) so I don't have to worry about being swum over. Nice. Bike goals would be to average 17+, since pretty much every ride I've done lately, regardless of course of distance, has been about 16. I don't know anything about this course, but at the same time, I don't have to run afterward, so I would like to end it feeling cooked. We'll see!!

Just Waiting

Waiting for the results from my ankle MRI yesterday. (UPDATE: Initial report looks like just RA, not osteonecrosis, which is a good thing...sort of. It still sucks.)
Waiting to make an appointment with the guy from HSS. (August 17...wow, that's a long wait.)
Waiting to find out what the f*ck is wrong and whether surgery can fix it so I can walk normally again. And run...? Ever?
Waiting to make an appointment with my superintendent to see if he will let me do the CCC bike ride (don't want to do this until I know if I have to have surgery, which would likely mean the ride would be out anyway so why bother. But since my HSS appointment is now not til August, I guess I won't have to worry about surgery before the ride.).
Waiting for the school year to end. I finally reached the end of my rope with it all, maybe a little later than usual but basically right on schedule.

May sucks.

Pictures

Bought her this toy stroller at a tag sale. Super cute to watch her push it around for the first day. Then she decided she wanted to RIDE, not push. The toy is now hidden.

My kid loves to put a hat or bag over her head and walk around blind. She did this when she was crawling too. Can't get enough of it. Weirdo.


These two just cuz they're cute.

We spent the morning at the beach today (a nearby beach for rich people who can afford to live in that zip code...we've been scoping those beaches out because after Memorial Day, we can't get it). Andra loved sitting in the rocks and shells. She tried throwing rocks in the water, but most ended up just dropped at her feet. Of course, I didn't have my camera or my phone. But it sure was a pretty day!

Osteonecrosis

My latest search term in Google.

Saw my rheumatologist today. He wants me to get a bone scan and/or an MRI to find out if my ankle issue is osteonecrosis, not just regular RA damage. Basically, the blood supply may be being cut off to my talus bone as a result of the RA damage, effectively killing the bone. Reading the symptoms (though it's not too common in this bone, more common in the hip), it could be. Because, except for the neck, I have had no other joints flare, and RA is usually much more whole-body. The scan/MRI, if read by someone who knows my history and can compare to my history of x-rays, should offer a definitive answer. He wouldn't really speculate, which was annoying but at the same time appreciated. Assuming my insurance will cover it, I will go to the Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC for these tests. It's nice to live so close to some of the best medical facilities in the world.

I asked for more pain medication, he prescribed Voltaren (which apparently has caused a huge decline in the vulture populations of India...love Wikipedia). This will be the first time in 11 years with this disease I have ever used prescription pain relief. He offered me a narcotic pain reliever...he says if I'm complaining of any pain, it must be bad because he still insists that I have a super high pain tolerance. Hopefully Voltaren will help. It doesn't hurt when I limp (the new walk), but I'd really like to STOP limping because EVERY SINGLE DAY at school at least one teacher I haven't seen in a while asks why I'm limping. "Eh, just an ankle issue," is my standard response. Annoying, though of course they mean well.

Been slacking off in the workout department, partly for lack of time (meetings, doctor appointments, husband now also working out and therefore cutting into my time somewhat, though it's good that he is stepping it up) but more lack of planning. Soon...only 4 more weeks of serious school. Although I do have 2 aqua-bikes (though I still call them triathlons) I'm doing in June, so I probably shouldn't slack off too much.

Still working on the appeal. Blah. I guess I'm in no hurry to get the whole thing denied once and for all. I have two chances...the superintendent, and then if that doesn't work I can possibly file a grievance through the union to try to force the district to let me take the days without pay. Don't really know what any of that means yet.

Making a silver lining...

Next week I will talk to the union rep to see what my options are to appeal. Then I will appeal, and then wait. I figure I have a 5% chance of getting all 5 days off, and a 10% chance of getting 3-4 days. That's a 90% chance of being screwed. So I am preparing to make my silver lining. It will not be nearly as awesome as going to California to ride with 300 other people to raise awareness for the disease that is eating away at my joints...in fact, it could quite suck...but, it will be the best I can do and it will be better than doing nothing.

I am going to ride the distances myself, after school, as if I WERE in California. The longest weekday distance is 65 miles. My parents can still come out to watch Andra (and to be back-up support for the rides). I am sure I can drum up people to ride with me. I can get publicity for all this (positive publicity...hopefully the urge to say terrible things about the actually really good district I work in will pass...). Maybe I can get the Connecticut chapter of the Arthritis Foundation to organize their own Connecticut Coast Classic (in the summer, of course). I might be a crappy teacher for a week as I'll be awfully tired, but honestly, I wouldn't really care.

So that's Plan B. I hope I don't need it, but I am prepared to go gung-ho after it if I need to.

Workouts fell short this week, though Tuesday I did the core class and 45 minutes of upper body lifting after, and Wednesday I swam 1800. Weather has been perfect for running or walking. Yeah. We've been going to playground, and to a school track meet. Gotta say, I loved cheering for the slower girls, it's more inspiring even than cheering for the girl who can run a 5:07 mile (and trains with the boys' team...because she can run a 5:07 mile).

No bike ride for me Sunday as I am volunteering at the Mother's Day 10k I have run the past 4 years. Gotta keep the streak up somehow.

Really?

My request for time off for the ride in September was denied. I really hadn't thought this was a possibility until 3 weeks ago when I asked the union rep for advice. I mean, we get 3 "personal" days a year (although I knew I probably wouldn't be allowed to use them...I had to take an unpaid day to run my last marathon in 2008...to call them personal days is quite a misnomer). I expected I would have to take the days unpaid, but I didn't really get that they could completely deny them. The principal said he would support it before I requested the time. So when my favorite HR guy stopped into my room after school Friday, I knew it was bad news. I was, I think, very professional in my pissed-offedness, I thanked him and just let him know that I would have to speak with the union to see if I had any other options. He proceeded to tell me that he has arthritis in his back, so he knew how I felt.

Yeah. Anyone reading with RA, you don't need me to tell you how that made me feel. Those of you who don't have it, understand that osteoarthritis (what we all usually think of when we hear "arthritis") and rheumatoid arthritis are nothing alike. I don't even want to bother to try to explain, so I won't. But at this point I couldn't get the guy out of my classroom fast enough.

Bottom line is, I have no idea if I will be able to convince anyone (my only hope is the superintendent, and possibly the Board of Ed) that I deserve this. Apparently, through our contract, the HR guy probably does have the right to deny it. So I can ask for special consideration (which they will grant in some situations, but usually it's for deaths or serious illnesses...and...I don't know that I can convey how important this is knowing that they probably just won't care), but I don't know what my chances are.

Two days later I am less emotional about it, but still pissed. I may be able to get them to give me one or 2 days, and maybe ride for 3 or 4 of the 8 days. I may be able to do the ride another year (without having to do all the fundraising again), though for many reasons I feel like if it's not this year, it just won't happen. Fred will definitely still be going, so at least I don't have to tell everyone who donated that the whole thing is off...just my part.

9:16

First 500 in the YMCA pool: 10:35 back in February.
Second 500: 9:48 April 16.
Third 500: 9:16, today.

This time I decided to push the last 200 yards, but even the first 300 were faster. I am pleased! But I can get under 9:00. I am still really only swimming once a week.

I also did 2 fast (for me, come on) 100s, 1:32 and 1:33. Thought I wouldn't make the second one. Total workout was only 1600, but for me it was way more intense than normal so that seemed just fine. I have no intentions of swimming more than a mile in any races this year so no need to do 3000 yd workouts - which I considered doing, as the Masters group I swam with this winter is now doing 3200+ workouts. Ha, I am glad I didn't do the second session!!!

Recap: Worked out 6 days straight last week including a solo 32 mile bike ride, but then blew off the entire weekend. It was RELAXING and I loved hanging out with Andra.

Swim recap

Swim workout yesterday...pool now is open MWF until 3:30 so that means it's much easier to fit in 1-2 swim workouts a week. Recapping what I did today for my future reference...Warm up 100, 100 pull. Then I decided to swim 1000. Not fast, just to do it because I have never done that continuously. It was fine, 10:15 for the first 500 and 10:03 for the second, so I guess I did negative splits! Then I did 4 50s. First was :47, second :46, third :43 and last :41. Sprints are FUN. And I guess I need to do them more to improve my speed in the longer distances. Weird how training plans for all sports basically follow the same principles...

Today after school our faculty meeting was JUST canceled (not that I was planning to go) so 2 other teachers are meeting down by the beach for a ride. I have last period free, so I am going to go home, ride the 8 miles to meet them, do a 16 mile loop, and ride home. It's a gorgeous day out.

School gym

This is where I work out when I don't have much time. Today, for instance. Planned to swim right after school, but a girl I tutored last year begged to see me after school. Since 1 hour of tutoring = 2 days of daycare, hard to turn down. Luckily, I had left workout clothes at school, and snuck down to lift during my lunch block. The fitness center is huge, though the equipment is pretty old and geared toward meathead football players (who leave 100 pound weights on the machines). Still, good enough.

I almost signed up for the local aquabike, as I haven't heard back from the relay woman and my sense is I'm not going to. But I couldn't click after I entered in all my credit card info. The thought of swimming in Long Island Sound in June just freaked me out. I will sign up...but I need to psych myself up for it.

Relay team?

A guy on the ride today asked if I was interested in doing the bike leg of a local olympic distance triathlon as part of his wife's team. I said sure, then later realized they do actually have an aqua-bike division (last year, 6 whole people did it! I could win!). But, I'd rather do the relay, I think it would be more fun to be part of a team. I called her, but she had kids yelling in the background and will call me back.

Today's ride was, in a word, CCCCOLD. My thermometer at home said 43 degrees. I dressed more warmly than last week (I think it was also in the 40s then, maybe 46) but was shivering badly right before we left. I was actually thankful for the giant hills on the route (hills I normally avoid at all costs) as they were the only thing that got blood flowing into my fingertips. We did 32 miles, not exactly fast (15.something) but only 6 of us kept even that pace. Seriously, it was one hill after another for the first 14 miles, then a little more downhill mixed in for the second half. 25 riders showed up (there's a big push to get new riders, so most of those people were in the 18- or 22-mile group), and one other woman sort of stayed with our group, but not really. She had a really nice tri bike, yet...she couldn't keep up. I find it weird that people will spend so much money on really nice bikes even though, umm, they don't really need them. Maybe I am just jealous though. Anyway, I hope they don't make the rides much longer...2 hours is enough. But I do hope someone starts to push the pace. It's nice to have a social ride, but, I wouldn't mind getting my ass kicked, too.

9:48

Swam today after school since the pool was open. Did 2000 yards, including 2 timed 500s, just to see. First one was 9:48, vs. 10:35 back in February, so 47 seconds faster. The second one was 10:03 I think, I didn't pay much attention at the very end as I knew it wasn't better.

How come the very first 50 I swim feels incredibly smooth, effortless, and fast, but that feeling doesn't last??? I mean, it makes sense that my form would suffer when I am tired, but pretty early on I start to feel slightly awkward.

Jack, one of the lifeguards (I think that's his name, I am terrible remembering names) that I say hi to, came in almost at the end of my set and said my form looked good, but he had 2 suggestions for me. One, my right arm was entering the water when it was already fully extended so I was apparently missing out on some of the glide, and two, my fingers are spread way apart and so I am losing power. I swam another hundred thinking about what he said, and I can see that making a difference once I can make the changes without thinking about them. As it was, everything else fell apart when I focused on keeping my fingers together.

Almost worked out every day this week...but when Wednesday night came around, I didn't make it to the pool. Andra and I got to a playground every day this week though, which was awesome. I figure if I make my workout a priority, it's only fair that hers is, too. Some days they go outside at daycare, but it's been a bit chilly in the mornings so afternoons with me have been her only outside time.

Sunday's ride supposedly is drawing 20 riders (mostly newbies probably) and we're doing 32 miles. If, that it, the weather holds. I could do cold, or rain, but not cold rain.

Sunday ride

Eight of us went in the faster group today, which ended up being perfect. Definitely a bit of a push, and a hilly course (there really isn't anything else in Connecticut/NY except rolling hills), but totally doable and a much better workout that I would get alone. We rode 27 miles, 1:36 at 16.6mph average. That one mph difference makes...a difference. I guess like running, at one point a 9:00 pace would have been easy for me, but an 8:00 pace would be doable but tough. Anyway, one guy today got dropped after the first climb (which I had just done Wednesday in our 88 degree weather...at the end of my ride...much easier in 50 degrees and at the beginning!) but the rest of us were very compatible speed wise. One other girl showed up today, but she was brand new and rode in the slower group. It is just nice to not have to do all my rides alone!

Signed up

June 5, Olympic distance aquabike. Meaning it's like a triathlon without the run...just the swim and the bike, and it's a separate category (probably with like 5 other people doing it).

Rode on Wednesday in the heat wave...24 miles, my usual 15-16mph pace, but I was exhausted afterwards...I am NOT used to 88 degree weather! Swam yesterday.

Rev3 Aquabike???

June 5, about an hour away in Middlebury, CT. They have an olympic aquabike race along with the triathlon. And half distances the next day. Surprisingly, the swim for the half is only .3 miles longer, which seems like nothing. However, I don't know that I want to kill myself to do 56 miles on the bike, even though I've already done a 30 this week and adding another 26 doesn't seem unreasonable given that I'd have 9 weeks (and wouldn't have to run afterwards!). But, olympic will probably win.

I am setting myself a deadline of Friday to decide and commit and sign up. Please hold me to it.

I rode 30 by myself on Friday. I chose a route that I think of as impossibly hilly (everything is hilly in CT, but this has a lot of really steep hills) just to get it in early in the season and planned to just cruise it. Early on right after I stopped by a friend's house to ditch my vest (too hot), I was passed by some guy. OK, I didn't do anything about it because I figured he was just fast. But no, there was no reason for him to pass me. He hung out about 30 feet ahead of me for 2 miles, and I even found myself slowing down to avoid passing him back. Finally I'd had enough though, it was silly. So I passed him and didn't see him again.

This morning I did 22 with a couple of guys I did my masters swim class with and a few I didn't know (9 guys and me). I was not intimidated to ride with them like I was to swim...and I more than held my own. Granted, it was a no-drop ride and our pace was about 15mph (slower than my solo, hilly, low-key 30), but it was fun. Not only was I one of the stronger riders (and, surprisingly, climbers) but it was a friendly group and I talked to just about everyone. Or, rather, they talked to me. I am really awkward in a new group and am completely incapable of starting conversations, so I was especially pleased that I didn't make a social fool out of myself. One guy tried to convince me to sign up for the next swimming session, and a bunch said they hope I come back next week. One even said I should come back because they expect a bunch more riders, and a bunch who will do an 18-20mph pace, implying that I could keep up with them. Umm, I am all for trying, but I don't know about that. I promised to return, but also said "I might let my husband come now and then instead of me," and another guy said, "No, we want you." (If I weren't about to disclose that these are by and large short, stocky middle aged family men trying to lose their winter spare tires, the whole story would have sounded much better. But still, I don't mind being the token woman on the ride. It's good for my ego.)

Two pictures from today, one from the beach yesterday.

Mommy friends

Since Jessica and Kate moved back to Chicago (all of a week and a half ago) I've been trying to find a way to get a new mommy friend. I don't need many...just one was fine, Jessica and I got along really well and liked doing a lot of the same stuff. She introduced me to Cynthia, and we went to the playground today. Plus, Amanda who was in my swimming lane friended me on Facebook today, her daughter is 4 months older than Andra. So, although I don't know if they'll be quite as much fun as Jess, since there are 2 of them it might fill the void.

Short lived

Cortisone shot worked for about 3 days. Oh well. All I can do now is wait it out. Frustrating, especially at school, but if I dwell on it, well, that won't help. So I can't. Must...look...forward...

My 500m swim time improved from 11:34 to 10:30. Still slow but not the slowest in the group, and one of the best overall improvements. I think from here on out the pool at the Y is open for lap swimming until 4:15 at least 3 days a week, so I can add that into the mix of bike and elliptical and weights more easily. I've taken it easy this week (kind of a bad cold and cough, plus just mentally dealing with ankle) but will have to get my spring plan in swing soon. I keep looking at local triathlons, and maybe I will plan to do an olympic and DNF. What the hell...it's obviously not a triathlon, but the worst part about not running/racing is that I have no gauge of my fitness/effort and hence no real motivation other than just "exercising." It doesn't help that I've been eating too much crap but also losing a little weight (yet, the body fat scale creeps up, so it's clearly not fat I'm losing). If I have a race to do, I can then have the fun of seeing where I fit in with others in the swim and bike portion.

Cortisone shot and beach pictures

Got my cortisone shot Friday. It certainly has helped. When I stand up now and take that first step, I can just WALK. It had been very painful to do that, though a few steps later it wasn't so bad, though I was always limping. I still can't run. The bones continue to click and rub against each other and generally feel loose. Sometimes when it cracks, it hurts. I think it's like an earthquake, the pressure builds and when it finally gives, it cracks and hurts. I can't really balance on just my left leg, because all those little corrections you do to keep your balance cause cracking of the joint. But the painful inflammation is gone, at least for now. And I don't think I am noticeably limping anymore, though my gait isn't quite normal. The ankle is still stiff, and I still am AWARE of it. Hard to explain, but normally when you walk, you just walk, you don't have to think about it. I am hoping that when my orthotics come back (again) next week, that will also help, though I don't think I have a prayer to run for a while. I am not even playing that game where you wonder if your "injury" (not an injury in my case, but a good enough analogy) is real or if you're just being a wimp. I am not being a wimp. There is just no point in my running "through" this. Hopefully the joint will stabilize, maybe fuse itself (so I don't have to consider surgery in a few years), but at least get to the point where it's not so loose. If it stays at least as good as it is now, walks are an option again. Maybe not fast walks that could count as a workout, but at least a way to get outside, especially if Andra needs to go to the park or take an extra nap.

A few pictures from the beach last week. Schools in my town were closed all week, though the town I teach in went back Thursday after power was restored late Wednesday night. My friend Jessica and her daughter Kate are moving back to Chicago tomorrow, which I am REALLY sad about, but we did get to spend a couple days hanging out in the beautiful weather.

Nor'easter

We were lucky and never even lost power, but the nor'easter that blew through this weekend has shut area schools (including mine) today and tomorrow, at least. Crazy! A huge tree fell across our road a few houses down, but didn't hit power lines, houses, or even a car. Fred's brother and his wife and new baby are without power til Thursday probably. I still took Andra to daycare today and went to the gym, then did a few errands and then cleaned half the house. I'll take her tomorrow too and get more cleaning and some organizing done.

We're halfway to our fundraising goal! Not bad for a month into it.

Also, since I am without my orthotics for a few weeks as they get readjusted, I put into my shoes the Dr. Scholl's arch supports I bought during my pregnancy. Amazingly, they worked much better than the orthotics! Less pain, though still the crunching. Which might be taken care of with the shot on Friday. Hopefully the orthotics will come back like that...or else I guess I make them redo them? I like the podiatrist and he said he was "a perfectionist," so...

Gimpy

I went back to the podiatrist yesterday for an orthotics check, which was good because I felt like they were doing absolutely nothing. He seemed surprised, and decided to get xrays of my feet while standing, with and without the orthotics. I am glad he did. Since my last xrays (I think back in September) apparently things have progressed significantly. That Sept xray report said no damage, the first orthopedic said no damage (and no to the cortisone shot), and the new guy said there clearly WAS damage, though I couldn't tell when he showed me. This time, it was crystal clear even to me. Upside: it's real so I don't have to feel like a wuss for not running (or walking) these last few months. Downside: he doesn't think the orthotics will help much, though he did take them back to have the arch raised more just in case it will help. He also said he'd guess I'll need the joint fused at some point, but that yeah, I could still run after that since no motion = no pain. I go for a cortisone shot next Friday.

I keep trying to compare this ankle pain to my wrists. I didn't think it was exactly the same...but now that I know it really is RA in the ankle, I guess it is, it's just that the joints function differently. My wrists used to hurt if they stayed in the same position too long (sleeping, say, or on the bike). The ankle is always worst when I first stand up. I would have real weakness in my wrists...not being able to pick up heavy books, or open doors. With the ankle, you do'nt use your toes the way you do your fingers so that strength loss isn't the same. Still, the swelling, stiffness and pain are the same. So, now I have some faith that the cortisone shot will actually help. I wish I had realized this earlier, say in September, and maybe some of this damage could have been prevented. But...at the same time, despite all my wrists have been through and the times I probably thought I would never lift a dumbbell again, they are functionally 95% normal and pain free now. SO...lesson is, relax, I will run again. Or hell, at least WALK again.

At swimming last night we did a mini indoor triathlon. Swim 1000 yards (I was second to last, not last!), spin 20 min, run (or elliptical in my case) 20 min. I make a pathetic exit from the pool at 4:18 on this video (ankle, can you tell it hurts?), though I look much stronger spinning in the middle of the video, and despite my warnings I even made an elliptical appearance at 7:30.

Guess who's a real swimmer?

Guess who that is on the left??? Looks like a real swimmer, huh? (Don't disillusion me, if I made it onto the poster, I can't be that bad.)

At Masters tonight, Amanda in my lane told me my picture was on the poster advertising the next session, and apparently the same images were also in an email we got. I feel so cool! And to make things better, a fast woman from 2 lanes over told me in the locker room that I have gotten a lot better and look much smoother and faster. It FEELS better, too, much more natural. Well, except for this breathing stuff we did tonight. I did OK taking only 4 breaths per length for the 200, 300 and 500 sets. The 3 breaths per length for the next 300 was pushing it, and the 1 breath per length for the 200 ended up being more like 8 25s (with loooong rests in between). But I do have faith that all this misery is paying off. We retest the 500 on the last session in 2 weeks. I only really hope for under 10:30, though 9:5x would be very nice. At least now, I feel like I can cruise for long sets and feel comfortable, even if I am not good at pushing the pace. Comfort was all I wanted. If I do this again, I can work on speed.